Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Letting out a heavy sigh, I reach forward to the plastic folder that Hazel leaves here and start going through the messages that she leaves for Linc. I know it’s wrong of me to reply to these and allow her to believe that it’s really Linc talking to her, but it’s gone on too long now. How could I possibly stop? But on the other hand, if this illness were to claim me and I was no longer able to respond to her letters, would she think that both Linc and I had abandoned her?
Shit. Perhaps Noah will respond to them for me, though he’d have to come up with an explanation as to why Linc’s handwriting suddenly took a dive.
Finishing up with my response to Hazel, I settle the plastic folder right back where I found it before getting comfortable in the manicured grass. I kick my legs out, crossing them at the ankles before just sitting here in the sun, closing my eyes, and breathing in the sunshine.
I rarely get to do this now. Every day is the same four walls, but this right here . . . I feel so at peace.
I don’t pay attention to the time, and before I know it, a familiar black Camaro pulls into the cemetery, driving right around until it pulls to a stop behind my Range Rover. Noah steps out a minute later, my lunch piled high in his arms, and with only one look at it, I know there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to eat all of that, but Noah is a machine when it comes to food. He could eat all day, non-stop, and still be hungry. I don’t know where it all goes.
“You scared me for a minute,” he tells me, striding up toward Linc’s grave, his gaze shifting to the tombstone and lingering there.
“I knew you’d eventually find me,” I say, knowing without a doubt that he would have stopped at the park before coming here as his second option.
Noah smiles and drops down beside me, handing me the extra-large soda. “I know you too well,” he agrees.
A smile lingers on my lips, and I turn my gaze back to Linc. “I didn’t think I was going to be here this long,” I admit, “but I just kinda sat down and never left. It’s peaceful here.”
“That, it is. I’ve been coming down here more often,” he admits. “You know, he would have turned fifteen this year.”
I nod, having had that exact thought today and nearly blowing myself away. “It’s insane how quickly time flies. It feels like yesterday that he died, and then I blinked, and suddenly, all this time has passed.”
Noah nods and loops his arm over my shoulder before pulling me into him. On instinct, I tilt my head, resting it against his big shoulder, wishing so desperately that I never have to lose this. We sit in silence as we eat our lunch, and before I know it, the clouds have blocked out the warmth of the sun. It’s certainly not cold during this time of year, but it’s enough to have Noah glancing at me nervously.
“Come on,” he tells me. “Let me get you home.”
Not wanting to argue with him, I simply nod and allow him to pull me up, knowing he’s right. I’ve been gone for longer than I anticipated, and soon enough, I’m going to need to lie down and replenish what little energy my body can work up.
Noah scoops up all of our trash from lunch and quickly jogs across the cemetery to get rid of it, and as I glance down at Linc’s grave one more time, a soft smile spreads across my face. “I hope you’re waiting for me, kid,” I tell him when Noah is far enough away and unable to hear me. A single tear rolls down my cheek, and I hastily wipe it away, feeling my heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. “I’m going to be seeing you real soon, but I’m going to need you to guide me through. I’m scared, Linc. I don’t know what waits for me on the other side, but I know with you holding my hand, I’m going to be okay.”
As I let out a heavy breath, the smile falters on my face, and I make my way back to my car, knowing without a doubt that Noah will follow me the whole way home.
53
Zoey
It’s a stormy Sunday afternoon, and I sit in my living room with my family. Allie sleeps soundly on my lap, and Hazel is beside me, curled up with a blanket as a movie plays, but truth be told, I haven’t taken in even a second of it. When I woke up this morning, I just knew . . . I’m not making it through this, and it’s all I can think about.