Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Fuck. I don’t even want to think about what it could mean if this next round were to fail.
Dr. Sanchez shakes her head. “At this point, chemotherapy is still Zoey’s best chance of fighting this. I know this is a lot to take in, and it is a devastating setback. However, we’re still confident in Zoey’s treatment plan. It’s just going to be a slightly longer road we need to travel.”
My gut twists with unease, but I hold myself together as I clutch Zoey tightly in my arms, my hand roaming up and down her arm.
A heavy silence fills the room as we all digest exactly what’s been said and what this means for Zoey. Dr. Sanchez stands, clutching her clipboard to her chest. “For now, Zoey, you’re free to go home and get some well-needed rest. I’ll be contacting your parents sometime tomorrow with an updated treatment schedule, and in the meantime, you know I’m only one call away. If you have any questions, worries, or doubts, don’t hesitate to contact me. Whether it’s a quick call or you need to drop in for an appointment.”
Zoey nods, devastation clouding her soft green eyes. “Thank you,” she murmurs.
Dr. Sanchez steps forward, squeezing her foot again. “I know this is disheartening, Zoey, but I need you to hold on to that fighting spirit. Take the next few days to be sad, get it all out of your system, then remind yourself just how strong you are. You’ve already survived this once before and made it through your first round. When you return in a few weeks, you’ll be ready and in the right mindset to beat this thing. I know you can do this, Zoey.”
She forces a small smile, but the heartbreak wins out and she crumbles again. “I’ll be ready,” Zoey promises her.
With that, Dr. Sanchez quickly speaks with Zoey’s parents as Kelly pops in to say goodbye, though it won’t be long until we see her again. Erica helps Zoey out of her bed, and her father quickly rushes to her side, curling his arm around her waist to help take her weight, and the fiercest jealousy cuts through me. I promised her that I would always be the man to catch her when she fell.
Instead, I grab her bags, and before I know it, she’s back in her parents’ car, heading back to East View. It’s a long fucking day filled with overwhelming sadness, grief, and helplessness, and by the time night has fallen and Zoey is asleep in my arms, tucked into her bed, I can barely breathe.
After making sure she has everything she needs, I slip out from beneath her before pulling the blanket right up to her chin, keeping her warm and watching the way she snuggles into her pillow. When she’s asleep like this, so at peace, it’s hard to comprehend how the cancer is pulsing through her body and poisoning her from the inside out.
Feeling myself starting to break, I silently move across Zoey’s room and slip out into the hall, pulling the door closed behind me before dashing down the stairs and heading straight out the backdoor. I barely get a step out into the night before I fall to my knees, gasping for air as my eyes grow watery.
She’s not getting any better. The chemo was supposed to work. It was supposed to breathe new life into her and give her a fighting chance, but now we’re back to step one. Only this time, the leukemia has had a chance to grow and spread through her precious body.
That round of chemo tore her to shreds. How the hell is she supposed to endure another, more intense round?
Fuck. I’ve never ached like this in my life. I’m trying to hold myself together for her, to be the fucking hero she needs, but seeing her like this is killing me. I’d give anything to take away her pain, to put myself in her place. I would endure it all if it meant saving her from this hell.
Finally catching my breath, I fall to my ass with my back up against the wall of the house. Then despite not touching a single cigarette since Zoey showed me how to find peace, I pull one out of my pocket and light it up, desperately breathing it in.
My hands shake as my world slowly crumbles around me. I feel like I’m screaming out for help, but no one is coming because Zoey is my salvation. She’s my savior, and now she needs me to be hers, but I don’t know what I can do to make her pain go away. She needs me to save her, and all I can do is stand back and watch her leukemia spread, slowly pulling her away from me, no matter how hard I hold on.