Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 112917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
I opened my mouth to defend myself, to tell her that I would never treat him like the rest of the world did… but then I worried that might be exactly what Zane would think I’d done when I’d kept those emails from him. I hadn’t kept it from him because I thought he was weak; I’d done it because he deserved peace. I’d done it because seeing him upset made me upset. I’d done it because I was in love with him… but Zane didn’t know that.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
She nodded and walked out, reminding me to replace the security wedge. Once I did that, I made my way to Zane’s bedroom door and found it locked.
“Zane, can I come in? I owe you an apology. And an explanation.”
I heard him moving toward the door. When it opened, he made his way back to the bed and threw himself under the duvet with only his face peeking out. He definitely looked angry. “I’m not skipping Berlin.”
I moved carefully to the edge of the bed and sat down without touching him. “No. We’re not canceling your Berlin appearance.”
His eyes widened slightly in surprise. “Good. But I thought… I thought Violet was going to get pushback from the label. I thought you were going to insist on leaving.”
“I told her you’d defy the label if they tried keeping you from this event, that it was way too important to you. And that it was better to accept you were going to do it anyway and go ahead and plan the security.”
He moved to sit up, still keeping the duvet wrapped around himself like a protective cloud. “You told her that?”
“Was I wrong?” I challenged.
Zane shook his head. I could tell he had conflicting emotions, but I also knew he wouldn’t miss the Berlin fundraiser for any reason. The opportunity to debut a new song with Jude Marian at the same time they’d brought a stellar cast of performers together to raise money for LGBTQ causes was way too enticing. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do so much good.
It just meant I’d have to wrap the man in impermeable protection and ensure his safety no matter what.
I took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the emails.”
“Are you? Or are you just saying that now because I’m angry?”
I thought about it. Was there still part of me that would be tempted to do the same again? Yes. I never wanted hate to touch him if I could prevent it.
“I’m sorry it hurt you,” I said, meaning it. “Zane… I need you to know I didn’t keep those emails from you because I didn’t think you could handle them. It was because I didn’t want you to feel the threat any more than you already did. I didn’t want you to be scared or angry or… frustrated. It didn’t seem productive. I wanted you to have a couple of weeks of peace—”
“I needed to know the continued threats were happening so I understood the danger,” he said, eyes flashing. “By keeping me in the dark, I didn’t realize just how bad it was. Maybe if I had, I would have agreed to cancel the VIP reception. Or maybe I would have demanded to have you with me instead of with the royal family today. Or maybe I would have agreed when you suggested I needed a minimum of two close personal security officers on me at all times.”
“You said you didn’t want to look like a diva,” I said in frustration. “You refused to have guards on both sides of you because you thought that would look bad.”
“I didn’t realize there were four other emails, two of them within the last couple of days! That this guy was not going away. That he was frustrated he didn’t know where I was when we were in Norway. He said he would find me, Bear!” His voice shook with a mix of fear and rage. “And he did.”
I wanted to touch Zane. Every cell in my body ached to reach out and pull him into my arms, but I didn’t feel like I had the right to comfort him anymore.
And maybe he wasn’t the one who needed comfort.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I said. The emotion was clear in my voice, too, and I hated it. “You’re right. If you’d known, maybe you would have agreed to my recommendations. But by then, I didn’t want to throw them out as evidence that there were good reasons for my suggestions. Ultimately, whether it was two emails or six, the threat was the same. And we should have had tighter security on today’s event. We should have insisted on a guest list limit regardless of what the royal family wanted. Noelle should never have gotten in. Apparently, she was doing media consulting for someone there. And we should have pulled you out of that room once it got so crowded.”