Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
What other things had I missed out on simply because I’d been afraid to speak up for myself and the things I’d wanted?
“Hey,” Cass murmured against my ear as he teased it with his sinfully skilled mouth. I hadn’t even realized in my lust-hazed state that he had given me the precious moments I’d needed to get myself mentally on track. My body was responding in every way to his caresses, but my mind was so busy waffling between self-doubt and disbelief that I couldn’t focus on the pleasure he was bringing me.
In the past, I’d been able to turn my brain off with ease as guys had fucked me or shoved their dicks down my throat, and sexual arousal hadn’t even been an issue since I hadn’t been looking for orgasms. I’d wanted to feel nothing and that was what I’d accomplished, but with Cass, it was all different.
“Hey,” Cass repeated. “Talk to me, JJ,” he continued even as he pulled back enough that he could look me in the eye.
“I’m not ready,” I blurted.
Cass chuckled quietly before he kissed me with one soft, sweet, and very unexpected kiss.
“You’re not mad?” I asked cautiously.
Another featherlight caress brushed over my mouth.
“Mad?” Cass asked in surprise. He put enough space between us that he could focus on my face. “No,” he continued with a shake of his head before he caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I don’t put out on the first date.”
“What?” I nearly choked on the word. “You don’t… you don’t…on the first date?” I sputtered in disbelief.
Cass leaned back in, but he didn’t kiss me again. Instead, he braced himself by putting one arm against the tile wall next to my head. The fingers from his free hand began to toy with mine. After a few seconds, he began to run his fingers up and down my forearm, always reconnecting with my hand in between. Sparks danced beneath my skin.
There was nothing intentionally sexual about the move, but it had to have been the most erotic thing I’d ever felt.
“Don’t tell anyone that because I’ve got my bad-boy image to maintain,” Cass whispered as if we weren’t alone.
It was all I could do not to laugh at his feigned seriousness. Of course, with him still running his calloused fingers up and down my arm, I wasn’t sure if I could even speak.
“I didn’t really know much about dating until I met this incredible young man a couple of years ago. Don’t get me wrong, he was drop-dead gorgeous, but when we went out the first time, it wasn’t his body that I couldn’t get enough of.”
Jealousy immediately sparked to life inside of me. I almost didn’t recognize the sensation since I’d never cared about anyone enough to want to keep them all to myself. “What couldn’t you get enough of?” I forced myself to ask even though I didn’t really want to know the answer.
“I guess it started with how sweet and shy he was. See, he had the kind of job where he had to be confident and smart. It was a physically demanding job but also required him to be able to communicate with all kinds of people, to empathize with them. He only used force when it was absolutely necessary,” Cass said with an easy smile.
He was talking about me… or rather, the me I’d been two years ago. The ugly green monster inside of me relaxed, though it didn’t disappear entirely. I was still envious of that JJ.
“I couldn’t get enough of him—and by that, I mean I could have spent the rest of my life just listening to him talk. Didn’t matter about what. He seemed to like listening to me too. That was new for me,” Cass said softly. He held my gaze for a long time while continuing to run his fingers up and down my arm.
“What happened to him?” I asked. Cass’s fingers chose that exact moment to brush along mine and without even thinking about it, I twined my fingers with his.
“We were forced to spend some time apart but when I saw him again, he was different.”
My stomach fell out and I tried to release his hand, but he refused to let go of my fingers. “Cass,” I whispered because I didn’t want to hear any more. I already hated the person who’d shot me, but the fury inside of me was different now. Not only had the fucker nearly taken my life, but he’d also stolen precious memories I could never get back. Cass’s description of our first date should have been one of those memories; one that I would have treasured for the rest of my life no matter how the relationship would’ve turned out.
“He’s stronger now,” Cass continued. “All the shit he’s been put through… I don’t know how he survived it, but I thank God every day that he did. He’s not as trusting as he used to be, but I think that someday he’ll be ready to give that privilege to someone he really cares about. He’s stubborn too—even more so than when he was a kid. He’s still as smart as a whip even though I don’t think he knows that. He knows now what it means to protect the people you love because he understands how quickly life can be stolen away, so he’s very protective of them. Anyway, he met this guy who’d become cruel and cold and pretty much hated the world. The guy would have probably stayed that way if not for the young man. That young man was so strong that he protected the guy and then, by some miracle, he fell in love with him. The cold, cruel guy couldn’t believe it, but it was true. It’ll probably take him a while to truly accept that he’s worthy of that love, but it will get easier every day when that young man continues to prove that his love is unconditional.”