Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
“He asked what happened,” I said bleakly as I processed how I’d treated JJ less than an hour earlier.
“The doctors said the damage to his memory could have been caused by the bullet, but it also could have been a psychological response to protect his mind from the trauma. They weren’t sure if he’d get his memory back or not. As devastated as I was, I knew I had to use it to my advantage. I let it leak to the press that he didn’t remember anything about that night and never would. I told JJ that I believed you had tried to kill him.”
“You needed to take the bullseye off him,” I murmured.
“I didn’t know how else to keep him safe. I’ve had him shadowed around the clock for the last two years. I only used guys I trusted with my own life.”
“And you left me in prison,” I said.
“Fuck, Cass, I’m so sorry but as fucked up as it sounds, I knew you were safe in there. Safe from whoever might have been trying to set you up. I knew what prison would do to you but—”
I shook my head because it was all I could think to do. Sully had no idea that prison hadn’t been just prison for me. Yes, my military training had prepared me to keep my body safe, but the damage done to my mind… that was a whole other thing. It didn’t matter, though. JJ’s life had been at stake and Sully had done the right thing by focusing all his efforts on keeping his little brother safe. I was grateful for that, which warranted keeping the truth about my imprisonment from him. “You knew I was strong enough to survive it,” I responded.
“I waited over a year before I started quietly trying to find a lawyer who’d take your case. Hutch was the only one who would. I’d already sunk all my savings into this place, so I mortgaged the house. JJ was still pretty fucked up. His injuries meant he couldn’t go back to the force, which was another thing he blamed you for. He spent months going to shitty bars and clubs, hooking up with random guys night after night and drinking enough that he could forget everything he’d lost.”
I know you took something from me that night. Something you had no right to take. I know that I wish you’d had better aim because leaving me this way…
JJ’s mysterious words now made sense. I’d taken his trust that night, or so he believed.
Just like I’d believed he’d betrayed me.
“So you asked me to shadow him because you wanted us to come face to face at some point,” I said in understanding.
Sully let out a harsh breath and stood. This time he was the one pacing like a wild animal. “I’ve spent the past six months getting him back on his feet. The cop in him is still there. He’s got great instincts, he’s the best shooter I’ve got… he just needs to get his focus back. He needs something that’s worth waking up for every morning. The one thing holding him back is—”
“Me,” I responded. “You were hoping if he and I confronted each other, he’d remember that night. He’d remember it, but he’d also know that he had to keep playing the role of not knowing what happened. You need him to fill in the blanks.”
“I need you both to fill in the blanks. Yes, I wanted him to remember you, but I also wanted you to remember him. To remember who he truly is… and was. Especially with you. I know you better than you know yourself, Cass. No one can protect him better than you. My guys are skilled, but they don’t have any kind of connection with JJ other than a professional one. Both of you deserve to know the truth about what went down that night, but there’s no chance of that happening if you walk away. But I also can’t force JJ into remembering. He can’t know the truth until he remembers it for himself, and that’s assuming he even will remember. I know I’m a selfish prick who doesn’t deserve your forgiveness for doing this, for letting you rot in that place—”
“Enough,” I interrupted with a wave of my hand. My brain was misfiring with too much information.
It was all just too much.
“I’ve gotta go,” I said evenly. Everything was so jumbled in my head that I didn’t know left from right or up from down. My body cranked into autopilot because I had to get away. From Sully, from JJ, from the truth, the lies… all of it. The only thing I knew how to do was the same thing JJ had asked me to do.
Leave and never look back.
CHAPTER 6