Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
“You never reached out to me while I was in jail waiting for my trial. You let me sit in a cell for two days not knowing if JJ had lived or died. My piece-of-shit lawyer was the one who told me JJ had pulled through!” I shouted.
“Fuck, Cass, would you just shut up and listen?” Sully responded in frustration.
“I don’t need to listen, Sully, because there’s one glaring fact that you can’t explain away. JJ was my alibi for that night, but he never spoke up. He never once came to my defense, and based on all the shit he just said to me, it’s obvious why he didn’t.” I climbed to my feet. “Because he believes all of it. Despite everything that happened between us before that night—” I let my words drop off as I realized what I’d been about to say.
“I knew what was happening between the two of you,” Sully said.
This time, there was no escaping his words. I sank back down into the chair, suddenly grateful for its support.
“How? When?” I managed to get out.
“A blind man would have been able to see the way you two looked at each other when you got home after your last tour was over. The way you were both conveniently busy at the same times those few nights before the shooting…”
“Fuck,” I muttered as I ran my fingers through my hair. “Sully, nothing happened. We talked. We kissed once. JJ, he wanted to come out to you before anything else happened. He was afraid because he knew—”
“He knew our father wouldn’t have approved,” Sully finished. “JJ was right. Dad read that Bible of his every night, and he made sure we were at mass every Sunday. He came from a family of Irish Catholics who lived by the word of God. I want to believe that he would have tried to accept it… that he wouldn’t turn his back on his own son. Back then there wasn’t a lot of wiggle room for kids like JJ and you.” Sully paused before adding, “And me.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “I never knew,” I murmured.
“I didn’t know about you until you got home and saw JJ all grown up. JJ tried to hide it from me; he still does. We were all under the same illusion that if we said anything, we’d lose everything. I’ve never confronted JJ about it because it’s not my right. He’ll tell me if and when he’s ready,” Sully said firmly.
“So you knew about us,” I prodded since I figured our sexual identities weren’t really a top priority. I still needed answers. “So why the fuck does JJ believe—”
“He doesn’t remember, Cass.”
“What?” I said laughingly as I tried to make sense of Sully’s words. When he dropped his eyes, I realized he wasn’t fucking around with me. “What are you talking about?” I asked even as my mind started putting pieces of the last two years together. I felt like I was on some crazy roller coaster that had lost its brakes.
“JJ doesn’t remember anything from the night of the shooting or several months of time before it. He doesn’t even remember you coming home that last time. Everything he believes about the shooting has come from the papers or the news, and he didn’t see any of that until six months after you were convicted.”
I shook my head. “No… no.” I had no idea what exactly it was that I was trying to deny.
“After the shooting, he ended up in surgery for eight hours. The bullet was a through and through, and while all the doctors and nurses considered it a medical miracle that it hadn’t killed him, there was nothing miraculous about what came after. Yes, the bullet missed several vital parts of his brain by centimeters, but it still left behind a lot of damage. JJ was put in a medically induced coma for months to give his brain time to heal. When the doctors tried to bring him out of it, he didn’t wake up. They weren’t sure if he’d ever wake up. That was one of the reasons I didn’t reach out to you. I was afraid of what you’d do if you found out he was barely clinging to life. I wasn’t sure how deep your feelings went, but I needed you to believe JJ had turned on you.”
“Why?” I asked. I felt like I was going to be sick. “I should have been at his side. I should have been holding his hand and telling him about all the things we were going to do when he woke up,” I said absently, not caring at the moment about my original question of “why.”
I didn’t know how long it was before Sully answered me. It felt like seconds and days at the same time. I’d nearly lost JJ not once, but twice. Sully’s voice sounded overly loud when he suddenly answered my question about why it needed to look like JJ had turned on me.