Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
I laughed because this was Jesse, so of course he had to go there.
“You’re in love with him?” he asked.
I was quiet, my thoughts spinning. I thought about how Jake made me feel, and the way he looked at me, and how it felt to be in his arms. How my pulse sped up when we were together. About his kindness and his big heart and his steady support. “Maybe. If I’m not already, I very easily could be.”
“Good. You deserve that. Just make sure you know that no matter what, your worth and strength don’t lie in him, okay?”
“Jake would never make me feel that way.”
“I’m not talking about Jake. I’m talking about you.”
I didn’t do that, did I? I didn’t think so, but Jesse was good at this. He was good at seeing things in me that no one else did.
It was he who broke the silence again. “So this blowjob. Has he returned the favor? Because it’s really fucking good on the other side of it too.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Oh my God. Shut up. I’m not doing this with you. But, real talk, I can’t wait to do it again.”
“My best friend is a sex fiend!” Jesse teased, and we giggled together.
“Takes one to know one.”
“Your point?” he asked, then, “Wanna cuddle?”
I thought for a moment. I never turned Jesse down when he offered that to me, but sitting there with him then, I realized I didn’t need it. Not that I didn’t appreciate it or want to be close to him, but… “No. I’m okay.” Jesse sat up and looked at me intensely, then smiled, and I saw what seemed like pride in his gaze. “What?” I asked, shifting uncomfortably.
“I think you’re better than okay.”
I rolled my eyes, but truthfully, Jesse was right. I was better than I had ever been. Still, I teased, “Nah, you’re just too twinky for me now. I’m used to a broad, hairy chest.” God, I loved Jake’s chest.
“First, your eyes just rolled back in your head. He must be good. Second, you’re twinkier than me, and there is nothing wrong with that. Twinks are fucking awesome.”
Yeah, yeah we were.
“What do you want to do?”
“I think…” I hesitated, then, “I want you to do my makeup. Then I want to go down to the beauty school and get some information.” My heart went crazy, and my skin started to tingle.
“No shit?” Jesse shoved to his feet, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up. “Let’s go before you change your mind!”
“I’m not saying I’m going,” I rushed out. I couldn’t. Mom would lose her shit. I probably wouldn’t be very good at it anyway. “I’m sure I won’t go to cosmetology school. I’m almost done with—”
“With something you hate, Seth. You’re almost done with something you hate. You don’t want to go into finance. You want to make people feel pretty, and there is nothing wrong with that.”
He was right. I did. Still, I didn’t want to get his hopes up. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. “I’m just getting information.” That I could get online…but I wanted to go there, to be there and pretend that was my life.
“It’s a step.”
We did makeup, and then I drove us to one of the schools in Portland. They had a bunch of pamphlets out, and we got those, but that wasn’t enough for Jesse. He asked to talk to someone, and they gave us info on the program and the classes that could fit around work schedules.
“I’m just feeling things out right now,” I told the woman. “I don’t know if this is something I’ll be able to do.” But I wanted it, God, did I want it.
“We’ll always be here,” she replied.
“Thank you.”
She handed me a card with her phone number and email address on it. “I think you’d be a great fit, Seth.”
“Thanks,” I replied. She stood, and we shook hands.
The second we got outside, I pulled my phone out, took a photo of the pamphlets, and texted it to Jake.
Holy shit, sweetheart. Is that what I think it is?
I melted every time he called me sweetheart.
I probably won’t do it…
You should. Damn, I wish I was with you right now. Come over tonight to celebrate? I know it’s scary, but you can do this.
I smiled. I was getting closer to thinking I could. I’ll come over when you get off work.
I’ll bring dinner home. Oh, and don’t forget to ask Jesse about this weekend.
I bit my lip, shoving my phone into my pocket again.
“Damn, boy. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you smile like that,” Jesse said.
I was pretty sure I hadn’t. “Hey, do you have plans on Sunday?”
“No.”
“Jake is having a barbecue at his place, and we wanted to see if you and Dane could come. His friends will be there, so this is…it’s kind of a big deal for him.” This would be the first time Jake was with a man in front of the important people in his life.