Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100523 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100523 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Elodie bursts into laughter. “Do you even hear yourself?”
I knit my brow. “What do you mean?”
“You sound like you’re infatuated,” she says matter-of-factly.
I bristle. But not for long. Because…she’s kind of right. I just didn’t realize it was so obvious. And while I didn’t want to talk about the situation with Elena for fear of judgment, I don’t mind sharing with a friend.
Elodie’s known about my zany plans from the start. She approved them with me that day we ate nachos and watched football. Still, I want to know why she’s saying that, so I ask, “How so?”
“Carter and I are wearing matching Halloween costumes,” she says, imitating me in a singsong tone.
And that’s clear. “Is that really how I sound?”
She laughs. “You sure do, mon cheri. Like you can’t think of anything better than shopping for matching Halloween outfits to wear with him.”
“Well, it does sound like fun,” I say, defensively but with a giddy smile.
“It does.” She takes a beat. “But it also sounds super couple-y.”
My smile falters. Reality is such a bitch. The reality of my unreal boyfriend. “Well, it’s just while we are doing this how-to-date thing,” I say.
“Yeah, sounds like it’s all about the lessons.”
But it hardly feels that way lately with him. Impulsively, I grab her arm and blurt out, “I’m going to be sad when it’s over.”
I didn’t really expect to say that, but I think I needed to voice it out loud, and now that I’ve opened the floodgates, more truth pours out. “We only have two more dates, and I feel like it’s that halfway point in a vacation where you’re happy and sad. When you have less time left. When every day, you’re counting down till you board the plane and return to reality. You don’t want it to end, but you can’t stop it. We have the Halloween party—that’ll be a sort of how-to-meet-the-friends date. Then we have one more and we’re considering an art gallery, since I’m weird and I don’t like going out to dinner.”
“Right. Because Edward was Mister Let Me Impress You With New Restaurants,” she says.
“Exactly. And then we have this party thing we’re hosting for Date Night.”
Elodie arches a brow. “That sounds like three more dates.”
Fair point. “Yeah, it does,” I say, a little hopeful, but I can’t be too excited. We just extended our departure flight. We’ll still be leaving Hawaii soon enough.
“But isn’t that what you wanted in the first place?” Elodie asks thoughtfully as we turn onto the block with the costume shop. “You wanted girlfriend lessons. You wanted this experience. You’re getting it.”
We reach the costume shop and as we go inside, I weigh her words. At first, I did want lessons.
But now?
My heart flips and flops in my chest. “The thing is, I don’t really know what I want,” I admit, stopping at a rack of sexy angel, nurse, and witch costumes.
“I don’t believe that,” Elodie says, calling bullshit. “You’ve always been pretty decisive. You knew what you wanted to study in college. You go shopping and you pick out clothes easily. You go to a restaurant and you know what to order right away. How do you not know what you want with Carter?”
She’s not wrong.
I do know what I want with Carter. The trouble is—I want the fantasy of these five dates to be real.
But I got married to a fantasy. “Because Carter’s not mushroom risotto on a menu,” I say.
Elodie gives a resigned smile. “Fair enough.”
I flick through some costumes, giving her a deeper answer as I find just the right one. “I do feel infatuated. I’m all fluttery when I’m with him, and when I think about him too. It all feels good. But…that’s dangerous. Everything felt good with Edward as well.”
She sighs, understanding me completely. “What does Elena say?”
I wince.
Actually, it’s a full-on cringe. Then comes my confession as we stand amidst the racy angels and the sexy devils. “I haven’t told her.” I bite off more of the truth. “I avoided it.”
“Why do you think you avoided it?”
I laugh. “Now you sound like Elena.”
Elodie sets a hand on the rack, leveling me with a piercing gaze. “Why do you think you avoided telling her?” she repeats, more forcefully this time.
My throat tightens. “I didn’t want to tell her,” I say in a soft voice.
Elodie’s soft, too, when she answers. “Because you don’t want it to end.”
I shake my head, admitting this truth too. “I don’t.”
I want to stay in Hawaii with him.
After I pick and buy the costumes, we head out on the street, walking past a café, where the door slaps open.
Three young children rush out, followed by a thirty-something couple. Laughter surrounds them. My heart aches, and I jerk my gaze away before the hurt tunnels deeper into me.
Once we pass them, Elodie rubs my shoulder. “It’s still hard, isn’t it?”