Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97339 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97339 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
My phone rings on the table, and I grin as Cassie’s name flashes across my screen. “Hey, what’s up?” I smile.
“Are you on your lunch break?” she questions, a cringe in her tone, never able to remember the right time to call.
“Sure am,” I say. “I wouldn’t be answering if I wasn’t.”
“Good point,” she grunts. “Can you break your diet and have wine and ice cream with me tonight?”
I scrunch up my face. I really don’t want to break my diet. I’ve been doing so well, but if she has a good reason, I might consider it. “Why? What’s going on? Are you having a shit day?” I ask, wondering if something’s going on with the baby. After the funeral, Cass and Jax temporarily moved in with Sean so she could help him transition into being a full-time daddy. So far, it seems to be going great. She’ll hopefully be able to move back home soon.
“You could say that,” she says. “I got my period.”
“Oh,” I pout, completely understanding. Cass and I usually get our periods at the same time, and most of the time, they’re not so bad, but every now and then, Cassie’s really sucks. It makes me wonder what’s going on with me as I usually get mine a few days before Cassie does.
I’ve never been late before, so maybe Cassie’s body is a little off and she’s got it early, or maybe it’s the healthy eating and exercise I’ve been doing that’s throwing mine off. I highly doubt it, but either way, we’re not synching up, and it causes a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Hold on a second,” I tell her before pulling my phone away from my ear and exiting the app. I bring up my calendar and double check the date, then start counting back the weeks. Hmm, strange. It’s definitely me. I’m late.
Oh, fuck. I’m late.
I’ve never been late in my life. I couldn’t be . . . pregnant, could I?
Noooooo. That’s absurd.
Carter and I have always been safe during sex. It’s not possible. It must be the change of lifestyle screwing me up. I mean. I can’t be pregnant. Carter and I aren’t even together. He doesn’t want kids.
“Hey, Cass,” I say, bringing the phone back to my ear. “I’ve got to go.”
“Oh, okay,” she says. “Are we on for tonight?”
Shit. If I see her, I’m going to open my big mouth, and I don’t want to do that. I’m not ready to accept it. Hell, I don’t even know if there’s anything to accept, but I’d like to live in denial a little longer. Besides, she’ll force me to take a test and face it. And then there’s the whole not wanting to put her in the middle situation. If I was pregnant, I’d ask her not to tell Carter until I figured everything out, and that’s not fair to her. She’s still his little sister and would want to do right by him.
“Um, no, sorry,” I tell her before coming up with some excuse about a fellow teacher’s farewell dinner and hating myself for lying to her.
“Okay, sure,” she says, the disappointment strong in her tone.
Cassie ends the call and I’m left sitting at the table, staring into space as I try to work out any other reason for why my period could be late.
It doesn’t matter anyway because I’m not pregnant. I couldn’t be.
I try to think back to the night that I’ve been desperately trying to forget, but it’s hard. I had a shitload to drink and the minor details are too fuzzy. Did he use a condom? Maybe he pulled out. I don’t know, but the uncertainty rattles me to the bone. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be pregnant with Carter’s child. It’s everything I’ve always wanted, but only if he were on board. I wanted us to be a family, but this . . . no, this isn’t even close to how I imagined it.
All I know is that if I am, I’m going to be doing this on my own.
I consider grabbing my shit and leaving for the day, faking a stomach bug so I can freak out at home by myself, but then I promised the kids a science lesson on frozen fucking water, and I’m not that teacher who’s going to let them down.
I laugh at the irony of today’s storm. When it rains, it fucking pours.
Can’t I catch a fucking break?
Just when I thought I was moving on and could somehow find happiness without Carter, this happens. I swear, if I’m not pregnant, I’m going to dedicate my life to celibacy. This shit is freaking me out way too much.
The bell sounds through the school, and I reluctantly pack up my things and head out the door. I get halfway back to my classroom when I remember the damn hailstones in the freezer. Fuck. I need to get my head screwed on before I have to face a bunch of kids. Hell, at this rate, I’m going to get my lesson plan wrong.