Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“Did that happen?”
“No, he didn’t want to come to San Fran.”
“And you did?”
“Yes.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Angry.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I gave up the best part of my life to be loyal to him. I thought we had a future, but in the end, it was all for nothing. I was done.”
“You ended it?”
“Yes.”
“Nathan.” Elliot’s eyes hold mine. “Are you still in love with Robert?”
“No.” I shrug. “I was for a long time but not anymore. We’re friends. He’s openly gay and in a happy relationship.”
“Tell me about your relationships since then.”
I squirm in my seat, uncomfortable with where this is going. “I haven’t had one.”
Elliot’s eyes narrow. “Not one?”
“I’ve had sex, obviously, but I haven’t met anybody I would want long term.”
“So, you have one night stands?”
“What does this have to do with the reason I’m here?” I snap in exasperation. “I don’t see why this is relevant. Next question.”
“No.” Elliot’s eyes hold mine. “I’ll repeat: do you have one night stands?”
I glare at him. “I have regular casual partners.”
“How long do you see the same person?”
I shrug. “A few months.”
“Until?”
“Until they fall in love with me.”
“Does love scare you?”
“Nope,” I push out. “I’m just not interested, that’s all.”
“I see.” He writes some points on his paper.
I exhale heavily as I wait for his next step over the line. He leans back in his chair and crosses his legs.
“Tell me about your best friend.” He glances down to his notes to remind himself of her name. “Eliza.”
“What do you want to know?”
“When did you meet?”
“We started work at the same hospital on the same day. We met in the cafeteria. Something clicked, and we became friends.”
He scribbles some notes and looks up at me. “This is around the time you broke up with Robert, yes?”
I nod. “That’s right. Like two months later or something.”
“Tell me about her.”
I raise my eyebrows. Where do I start? “She is goofy, clumsy, and she can’t cross the street without nearly getting herself run over. She loses her phone and keys all the time.” I think for a moment. “She has the most beautiful dimples when she smiles; her whole face lights up.” I pause for a moment as I picture her. “She’s a great cook. The best, actually.” I smile wistfully. “I have leftovers for lunch every day.” I twist my fingers in my lap as I try to think of something else to say. “She writes in a diary every night and sometimes, when she’s in the shower, I read it.”
Elliot rests his hand on his chin as he listens.
“She has the purest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.” I drop my head. “She puts everyone else’s needs before her own, especially mine.” I smile sadly. “She’s a pediatric nurse.”
“Nathan,” Elliot says quietly. “Why is your attraction to her so abhorrent to you?”
My eyes meet his. “Because she is everything to me. I can’t lose her.” My heart constricts in my chest. “Just the thought of not having her by my side is…”
“Why do you think you would lose her?”
“We’re not… it’s never been like that between us.” I frown. “She doesn’t think of me like that and…”
“And what?’
“I’m a lot to handle… sexually.”
“How so?”
“I like it rough. My appetite is insatiable. And I’m…” My voice trails off.
“You’re what?”
“Large.”
He frowns as he listens intently.
“She’s very…” I frown as I search for the right word. “Fragile.”
“You don’t think the two of you would be sexually compatible?”
“No, and if we ever crossed that line and it didn’t work out, we could never go back to where we are.”
“You’re happy where you are now?”
I smile softly. “Waking up next to her is the best part of my day.”
“I see.” Elliot begins to scribble on his paper.
“So… how do I turn this off? It can’t happen again.”
“I don’t think I can help you, Nathan.”
“Why not?” My eyes search his.
“Because I’m of the opinion that you may be in love with Eliza.”
“What?” I snap. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
I stare at him as my pulse begins to sound in my ears.
“Could it be possible, Nathan, that your body is just catching up with your heart?”
“No.” The room begins to spin.
“That maybe it’s taken this long for you to allow yourself to feel again?”
“You’re wrong,” I snap, angered that this fucker has wasted my time. “I’m just horny.”
“So, why not go and sleep with someone else tonight? If it’s that easily fixed, go and take what you want.”
Fury begins to bubble deep inside of me. “You don’t know me.” I sneer.
“How long has it been since you’ve had sex with someone, Nathan?”
He hits a nerve, and I swallow the lump in my throat. “A few months.”
“Why do you think that is?”
I hate this fucking guy.
Our eyes are locked, and anger hangs in the air between us.
“Would you feel like you’re betraying Eliza if you were intimate with someone else? If you gave your body to someone else and not her?”