Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 121460 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 607(@200wpm)___ 486(@250wpm)___ 405(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121460 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 607(@200wpm)___ 486(@250wpm)___ 405(@300wpm)
I’d thought often about how easily I’d gotten over my feelings for Eredine, and after some self-analysis, I came to a surprising conclusion. “She reminded me of Roe.”
Arran’s eyebrows rose.
I chuckled dryly. “I know they don’t seem alike, but behind her smiles, Roe always had this haunted look in her eyes. Because of her fucking parents. And every time I caught that look, I wanted to make it better for her. I wanted her to know that someone loved her, thought about her, wanted to be with her. Even if I could only do it through friendship. I saw that look in Ery’s eyes, and I think I was drawn to her because of it. I love Ery,” I promised him, “but I was able to let go of the idea of her too easily for it to have been anything more than platonic. And I know that because every time I see Monroe …” I looked away, fear rising in me that it was too late. “It feels like I’ve been sleeping for years, and then suddenly she’s there, and I’m awake. I’m fucking terrified of losing her, Arran. What do I do?”
My brother rested a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it in sympathy. “You grovel like you’ve never groveled before.”
A bark of laughter burst out of me. “Lachlan said the same.”
“Our big brother should know. I hear he groveled his arse off to get Robyn back. Even flew to Boston for her.”
I chuckled at the thought because my big brother, especially during his Hollywood days, was an even bigger ladies’ man than me. “How the mighty have fallen.”
“Look who’s talking. On that note”—Arran frowned—“have you really thought this through? Just because you’ve had some peace and quiet here the last few weeks doesn’t mean you should forget that you’re famous, Brodan. The world will be very interested in Monroe if you choose to settle down with her here. Do you think she can cope with that kind of scrutiny? Can you cope? It’s different putting up with that shit for yourself, but when it affects someone you love, it’ll be ten times harder.”
I had thought about it. Of course, I had. “I have to try, Arran. I can’t live the rest of my life regretting not trying to be with her. She’s the one.” I shrugged helplessly. “She always has been. It scares the absolute shit out of me, but continuing to live an empty life without her terrifies me more.”
Arran blew out a breath. “Fuck, when we Adairs fall, we don’t do it by half measure, eh?”
“Aye, maybe that’s why it’s so bloody scary.”
“Well, if you’re sure Roe is who you want, then it’s simple. Words won’t work with Monroe. Actions. Let your actions speak for you.”
“She’s closed off to me. Not just because of what I’ve done, but because of what others have done. There was a bad previous relationship.”
Arran scowled. “Is there someone we need to kill?”
I nodded grimly. “Most likely.”
“Fuck.” He shook his head. “Life is so unfair sometimes. She’s had it harder than most.”
“I want to make it better.”
“Then that’s what you do. Make Roe’s life better, for her, not for you, and without taking her choices away as you do it.”
I considered this as we walked up the dunes toward the fields. Pride swelled in my chest. “You’re a good man, Arran.”
He looked at me seriously. “You are too, Bro. I promise.”
23
Monroe
It was quite the novelty being able to walk out my front door and stroll toward Flora’s in just a few minutes. Living in the cottage was life changing. I hadn’t realized how miserable I’d felt coming home to that caravan every evening and waking up in it every morning.
Now I couldn’t wait to get home and throw some wood on the fire, pour a glass of wine, and check my kids’ online homework with the TV playing in the background.
That I had the Adairs (i.e., Brodan) to thank for it was a bit awkward, but I could deal with that to have a lovely place to rest my head at night. Not that I found falling asleep easily these last few nights. The culprit was, of course, Brodan.
He was being nice to me.
At the musical rehearsals over the last two days, he’d been kind and attentive and respectful toward me. He wasn’t overtly flirtatious or unprofessional. Just nice. There was something different about him. Something … lighter. Like a burden had been lifted. Even Ellen and David commented on the change in his demeanor. I couldn’t help but wonder if his confession and my forgiveness had effected such a change. Could my opinion really matter that much to him?
Ugh.
I was in turmoil.
As much as I appreciated his newfound attitude, I couldn’t let go of how he’d treated me previously.
When he asked me to meet him for coffee on Saturday, I was relieved to tell him honestly that I already had plans with Sloane Harrow for brunch at Flora’s.