Total pages in book: 25
Estimated words: 22364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 112(@200wpm)___ 89(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 112(@200wpm)___ 89(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
The despair was eating away at me and affecting every part of my life. I never turned my resume into Mr. Seagraves, because I couldn’t imagine working close to Richmond. I did follow a job lead, because I needed money to pay the bills…to Richmond. I hadn’t been to the gym at all. I couldn’t go on like this. I had to get my shit together, and the first step was to let someone bang my memories away while making me feel desired. I’d worry about the rest tomorrow. I left the house without looking back.
*****
Richmond
I gazed longingly at the door, hoping if I stared hard enough, Gavin would come back through it. I wanted to chase after him, or go with him, but I knew neither one was the right choice.
For the past couple of weeks, I'd been keeping my distance while keeping Gavin in my thoughts constantly. I wanted to be near him as much as I knew I should stay away. When Wade finally invited me to hang out, I jumped at the opportunity to see Gavin again…just to watch him run away; while wearing ‘fuck me jeans’, apparently. I knew it was for the best, but it was the last thing I wanted.
Fingers snapped in front of my face, drawing me from my stupor. “You okay?” Wade asked with a worried expression.
“Yeah,” I mumbled, scrubbing my hands over my face.
His smile returned and he bounced his eyebrows. “Were you entranced by the jeans?”
“I, um…yeah, I guess that's it.”
“Okaaay,” he drawled, obviously not buying it. But, he shrugged and went on, “I got a call from one of my college buddies earlier. He said Northwood High will be needing an art teacher next year. But I told him I wasn't interested.”
“That's good,” I replied, having only paid attention to about half of what he said.
“Okay, something is definitely up with you. I should be getting the, ‘Don't let a good opportunity slip by’ speech right now. What is going on?”
I tried to be as convincing as possible when I answered, “Nothing.”
“Bullshit.” Okay, I'm not convincing at all. “I can tell. Has it got to do with Gavin? Did something happen between you two?”
“Why? Did he say something?”
“No, but you just did. Spill it, old man.” My thoughts spun, trying to come up with a way to answer without giving anything away. I asked Gavin not to mention our tryst to Wade, so I shouldn't bring it up either. But apparently, my silence spoke volumes. “Holy shit, you like him.”
“Of course I like him,” I tried to circumvent. “He's a good guy. I've always liked him.”
“You like like him.”
“What is this, middle school?”
“That's it, isn't it? You're crushing on Gavin! Holy shit! Wait…why did you let him leave?” Wade seemed concerned and curious, but not disgusted in the slightest. “I've seen those jeans in action. He'll have guys all over him.”
My stomach rolled at his words. I couldn't bear to think about Gavin with any other man, but I knew it was my own damn fault. “Wait; this doesn't surprise you? It doesn't weird you out?” He'd already guessed what was going on, so there was no use hiding it.
Wade snorted a laugh. “No, I've had plenty of time to get used to it.”
“It's been like five seconds,” I argued, but Wade just snorted again.
“Yeah, on your end. But Gavin’s been in love with you for like a solid decade, so I've had plenty of time to think about-”
“What?” I shouted, jumping to my feet before I realized what I was doing.
“Oops. I probably shouldn't have said anything.”
“Well, it's too fucking late for that now! Tell me!”
“Okay, but sit back down first. You're gonna have a coronary.”
I plopped my ass back into the recliner and gave him a demanding look. “You've known this for a decade?”
“Well, no, I haven't known that long; for years, I was as oblivious as you.” I would have taken offense if it weren't so true. “He told me back in our freshman year of college. He got a little too drunk and spilled everything. Apparently, he's had it bad for you since he knew he was gay.”
“Shit,” I sighed as I deflated in the chair.
“But this is a good thing! Now you know he feels the same way about you, and you guys can get together.”
“I think I've already blown my chances.”
I told my son about what happened at and after the party; how Gavin and I spent the evening flirting and dancing, and then shared the hottest, most exciting experience of my life before I sent him away.
“First of all,” he began, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Next time, skimp on the details. I do not need to hear about my dad jizzing his pants. Secondly, why the actual fuck would you kick him out?” I laid out all the reasons I had that night, and had been thinking about ever since. “That's dumb, dude.”