Total pages in book: 31
Estimated words: 29345 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 117(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29345 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 117(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
She winces, guilt drawing her features in as her fingers tighten their hold on my shirt. “I… I must have hurt you all the time, being with him.”
“That doesn’t count. You didn’t know.”
Her eyes snap toward the empty tree, her nostrils flaring as she speaks, so low I almost miss it. “I think I did,” she admits. “I’ve replayed so many moments in my mind for years, and I… think I knew, because I felt it. I—”
“You loved me, too,” I offer softly.
Noel pulls in a shaky breath, her eyes moving back to mine. “No… not—” She licks her lips. “Not loved.”
My stomach drops to my feet, my hands shooting up to grip the sides of her face. “Noel…”
Her lips twitch slightly, and she whispers, “Don’t pretend like you didn’t know.”
A soft, thick chuckle leaves me, and I press closer. “Oh, I knew, but I wasn’t sure you realized how long ago you became mine.”
She nibbles on her lower lip. “The night I told you to go fuck yourself after your football game. I felt it, but you never made a move.”
“I was a fool.”
“Yeah.”
We share a small smile, our foreheads meeting at the same time.
“We can’t go back, Roman.”
“I don’t want to go back. I want to go forward.”
“It won’t be so simple.”
“It will.” I tip her chin up, staring straight into her eyes. “It is, Noel. No one else matters. Not what they think, what they say, or who they are. The minute I learned you didn’t leave me on Christmas Eve to go back to him, but to let him go for good, I planned to come to you—another ticket I bought that went unused. But then I found out about the job you accepted, and I knew you were where you were meant to be. I know the networking the new position would give you all you needed to make this resort happen.”
“That’s why you fought so hard for our partnership,” she whispers as it all clicks.
“Yeah, baby.” I caress her cheeks. “I had to find a way to stay close, to be a constant in your life you couldn’t forget. It was torture, but I waited until I could walk away from my temporary life in Florida with all I needed to start one with you in LA.”
“Last summer was what I had decided. I packed, ended my lease on my apartment, and made arrangements in LA, but when the date came, I was fucking terrified. We were deep into getting the resort ready, and I knew you were stressed. I worried it would block how you felt, leaving only room for anger, so I kept delaying. But let me be clear, I came home for you. Not for business or this trip. Not to mess with your head, just to go back to Florida when the holidays ended.” My gaze moves between hers. “I came home to tell you how sorry I am, how much I love you, and to ask you to give me what I want. Give me what I want, Noel.”
Her chest inflates. “And what is it that you want?”
“I want you, only and always, and I don’t want to take it slow. I want to move into your home until we can find one together, and I want an office right next to yours. I want to erase all the insecurities my brother put into your head and erase all the hurt I left you with while you do the same for me. I want to marry you as soon as you’ll allow, and I want to have those babies you’ve always wanted.” I pull back, staring at her. “Give me what I want, and I’ll give you more than you ever imagined having. I’ll love you harder than you knew a man could love, and I’ll fuck you better than any man could ever dream.”
A thick laugh escapes her, and she sniffles. “You were doing so good,” she breathes, both of us chuckling slightly.
“Couldn’t leave the last bit out, baby.”
“Roman?”
“Hm?”
“Fuck me better than any man could ever dream...”
I groan, walking her toward the bedroom once more. “I’m going to do more than that.” Swooping down, I kiss her throat before meeting her eyes once more. “I’m going to rewrite Christmas for us, Kitten, one lost moment at a time,” I promise, and not only to her but to myself.
Because like her, Christmas is linked to pain for me now. It has been for the last five years, but no more.
Tonight, we take back what used to be our favorite holiday.
Tonight, we rewrite our memory.
Tonight … we take back us.
“Merry Christmas, Noel.”
“Merry Christmas, Roman.”
With that, I lower my lips to hers.
CHAPTER 9
Noel
I wake to the smell of coffee, my eyes peeling open to find Roman slipping from the doorway, a steamy hot cappuccino on the bedside table next to me. My lips curve, and I stretch, slowly sitting up. The blanket falls to my lap and I reach for it on reflex, ready to shield myself once more, but my hand flattens on the fluffy comforter instead, and I bite my lip with a grin as I reach for my coffee, leaving my breasts exposed as I lean back onto the headboard.