Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
I started to panic at first, wondering who had been spying on us and how they’d gotten so close, and then I saw that it was she who had posted it. The smile on my face could not be contained. This could only mean one thing; she was ready to go all in. No one else might understand the significance of her posting that herself, but I did.
I know she didn’t do it for any clout; she was sending a message that she was ready to let the world know we were back together again, something I thought would take a hell of a lot more time for her to do.
I hadn’t wanted to push her though I had been ready to shout it from the rooftop since day one. So the fact that she’d taken the initiative spoke volumes and showed an element of trust in me I thought would take years to build back again.
Along with the excitement, there was a bit of apprehension as well. She’d made herself vulnerable again, and a swell of protectiveness rose up inside me. I won’t let anyone hurt her again. I’d slept on things the last time around and left her hanging way too often on her own. But this time, I planned to be there to hold her hand or stand between her and the world every step of the way.
Without giving it a second thought, I posted the second image from that day; this one had her smiling up at me with my arms wrapped around her hips as she faced me. The first one had been taken on the spur of the moment, but this one and all the rest that followed we’d posed for in a kind of playful photo shoot.
I’d wanted to have them with me when I thought I was going to be away from her, and she’d gone along with my impromptu photo session, but even I hadn’t expected the shots to come out this perfect. In this image, in particular, we looked like two lovers lost in their own world, with no worries or cares about this one.
Just like her, I added no caption; I just let the picture do all the talking. I felt ten feet tall as I got off the elevator and followed the guys to the stairs, and instead of calling her to let her know that I was here, I decided I wanted to surprise her instead.
I loved that she felt brave enough to do it, to put herself out there like that. In the past, she would’ve thought twice. I realize now that that was because she was never too sure of me, and that was on me as well. Without drugs and outside influences, it was clear to me just what a horrible boyfriend I once was.
It’s a wonder she’d agreed to give me a second chance because when I look back on our life together, I hadn’t exactly earned it. It just proves how true her love really is, that she was willing to even look at me again after the hell I’d put her through.
I felt sick to my stomach at the memory of how unfair I was and how unworthy I am of her. Then I felt building excitement at the thought of the things I would do to make it up to her. It’s the first time in a long time that I felt this alive like I had something wonderful to look forward to.
Life truly can be wonderful when you get your head on straight. And though Matt had turned out to be a demon in disguise, I can’t negate the fact that his teachings were pretty much spot on. Too bad he’d been enticed and seduced by money more than his calling.
But I have to believe that my remorse and willingness to do right by her this time had won me this chance. Because I wasn’t getting high any longer, I won’t be breaking any promises; I won’t make her sit and wait long into the night without showing up, only to show up the next day with excuses and arrogance.
She’d seen the worst of me and still wanted me, so I couldn’t hide behind my insecurities this time around because I knew in my gut that she’d leave me this time for good and never look back. And that is something I cannot live with. I can’t not have my Elena, I’d die without her if there ever was a next time, and I know it.
I’d been so distracted with her post that I’d all but forgotten my reason for coming here, but when her apartment door came into view, I remembered it all, and that angst was back in full force. I didn’t want it to show, though, so I schooled my features and knocked.