Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Then I’d awaken in such pain it was hard to breathe. Those times I’d beg, plead, and make all kinds of promises in the dark if only he’d come back to me. It was hard as time went by to let go of that hope. So having those prayers answered now seems like too good to be true, and I’m still a bit afraid that the other shoe will drop, and I’ll be back to being scared and alone.
And now that we were apart, I was having a few moments of doubt here and there, which couldn’t be helped, all things considered, but not enough for me to get off this train.
I’d made up my mind that whatever happened, I was going to enjoy this time together and take what I wanted from the relationship. I knew my limits and had set boundaries in my mind. I wasn’t planning on holding back, but neither was I willing to go all in all at once. I’d done that before and got burned. Now it was his turn to prove to me that he was worth my time and trouble.
I want to love him the way I once did, even more, in fact, and I want to do it without fear and reservation. I want us both to be happier than ever before and stronger. Strong enough that nothing and no one could ever come between us again.
“I miss you already. I hate that you’re so far away from me.” I always wanted to make a spiffy comeback about the last five years and the fact that he’d done just fine without me by his side, but the poor guy had already had more than enough to deal with.
Char had freaked him out pretty good when she insisted on doing some kind of cleansing ritual over me before she’d let me leave the house to come here, which reawakened his fear that his nutty wife and her family were going to come after me again.
Then he wasn’t allowed to go with me to the airport, not even in disguise, because it was too risky. I thought he would cry as we said our last goodbye, but we both held it in pretty well. I did, at least until the car reached the end of the driveway, and it hit me that we were going to be apart from each other for an unknown amount of time, and I wasn’t quite ready yet.
I thought I was being brave and that I could do it. That I could jump right back in but, this time, hold pieces of myself back out of harm’s way. But it doesn’t work like that. I can tell myself a million things and think of a million ways to protect myself, but in the end, the heart wants what it wants.
“Where will we stay if you come here? Everyone knows this place, and there are always fans and paparazzi around.”
“Not to worry, the men Lyon has on you there are going to take us someplace for the weekend. You just be ready to go when they say, and I’ll be waiting. I love you.”
My heart hitched at his words. He’d said it in the heat of the moment; he’d even whispered it a few times when we made love, but this, this seemed somehow more profound and heartfelt. “I love you too.” Don’t pinch yourself again, Elena, or there’d be no skin left.
We stayed on the phone a little bit longer, saying sweet nothings in each other’s ear. Something we hadn’t done since our first year together. It was sweet and innocent, two things I never thought we would ever be again.
I was so full of hope and dreams that it was almost scary. If I’d imagined this scenario a thousand times, I never could’ve imagined this very thing happening; how could I?
People have started to notice; there was even a bit of a buzz since I got back, and people were wondering what had put the sparkle back in my eyes. I was bursting at the seams to tell someone but knew that I couldn’t, not even Sydney, not yet, and definitely not my mom.
It wasn’t all that bad keeping it to myself for just a little bit longer. I don’t think I could handle the naysayers right now, anyway. The thought of anyone raining on our parade just wasn’t something I wanted to endure so soon after we’d barely gotten back together, and I knew it was bound to happen.
I can’t think of anyone in my circle who would be happy for us, and I can’t say that I blame them. That, too, is something else I plan to work on this time around. In needing to vent my frustrations in the past, I’d burdened my friends and family with all the ugly twists and turns in our past relationship.