Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Will I always bring darkness and pain into her life? I’d tainted her so much already, had brought this ugliness into her life. A life that was on track for greatness long before I came along. Fine, if I have to accept that they had done this to me, then I have to accept that they were the ones to hurt her as well, not just me. That makes them my enemies. Not only because of what they’d done to me but because they’d dared to go after her.
Lyon is right; I have to get my head out of my ass and quit feeling sorry for myself. It’s time to take them down, all the way down, not for me, but for Elena, the only one who ever really gave me her all without any hint of altruism.
The only one who saw the real me, the young innocent me, without blemish, without blame. I’ll do whatever it takes to give that back to her. To be that boy of promise that she’d fallen in love with. The boy who would die before he hurt her or let any harm come to her.
Chapter 56
*Ryder*
“I wish I could be like you.” After all of my thinking, that’s what I came up with. It wasn’t much, but it’s a start. I don’t mean to come across as weak and rudderless, which I have been for a while, but the reality is I have no role models. No one that I could really look up to and aspire to be like.
The people I thought were my friends and chosen family are, in fact, the orchestrators of my downfall. They never liked me and never wanted what was best for me. Otherwise, they would never have done so much to get rid of Elena. All I ever was to them was money, something to be used for their own gain.
“Oh yeah, how is that?”
“Confident, bold. You seem very self-assured.” He was also the type of man who didn’t mince words or care who was listening. I’ve known him for less than twenty-four hours, and I think he opened up to me more than people I’ve known for more than half my life. He didn’t seem at all bothered that his subordinates were listening in on our conversation; in fact, he doesn’t treat them like they’re under him in any way but as equals. The guy is an enigma, that’s for sure.
In L.A., anyone with any kind of clout has to make it known to all and sundry. It’s like breathing to them or their life’s blood. Being the one on top so you can trample and not get trampled has always been the way out here in Hollywood, at least from what I’ve come to see. But this guy was as laid back as to be asleep, and his men trusted him. Why wouldn’t I want to be like that? It’s a far cry, though, from what I always thought I wanted.
“To do that, you’ve got to do two things, one-stop looking back. The past is the past. Leave it there. Two, you have to tell yourself until you believe it that there is no one greater than you on this earth.”
“What? How can that be?” He didn’t seem like a megalomaniac.
“All men are born the same, and we die the same. Some of us get help to that end, but death is the same no matter how it happens. If you know what that means, then you won’t ever let another being who looks like you make you feel like you’re less than them.”
“That’s kind of hard, isn’t it? With class systems and caste systems and everything else we’ve got going on in the world.”
“That’s bullshit made up by men. Even my five-year-old triplets know that shit. Men have always come up with ways to oppress other men; you’ve got to stare that shit in the face and say fuck that, not today, not any fucking day.”
“Money and possessions aren’t what makes anyone great kid; that’s a myth. It’s what’s in here and here.” He pointed to his head and heart. “You’ve got to have the heart to believe in your own worth, to know that you were made great and own that shit. When you get to that point, you will stand before kings and queens and any so-called dignitary in this piss-poor world and look them in the eye because you know that they’re no greater than you because of their possessions or because they were born in a different social bracket.”
“That’s the most awesome shit I’ve ever heard. So is this what you’ve taught your daughter? Is that why she is the way she is?”
“That one came out the womb on some shit.” I didn’t mean to set him off again, but that’s exactly what happened, and for the next five minutes, her uncles defended her from him, which I found both comical and heartwarming. Apparently, Mancini was the cause of all his daughter’s wrongdoings or the instigator behind her every scheme.