Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
“Are you still mad at me?” I watched her carefully because even though she doesn’t lie, she does have a way of circumventing the truth to avoid confrontation. Not this time.
“Of course I am Ryder. You humiliated me in front of the whole world for five years. Just because I’ve forgiven you and we’ve gotten back together does not negate that fact.”
“Ah, I see…”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Don’t I dare what?”
“I know that tone; you’re about to do what you always do when you’ve done something to piss me off.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know very well what I mean. You were about to say something about my period, weren’t you?” Don’t laugh Ryder, or that Italian half of her just might brain you with something. I should probably be looking for cover if the look on her face was any kind of warning, but she’s so damn adorably cute when she’s riled up that I couldn’t help wanting to be near her.
“I wasn’t about to say anything of the sort.” She hissed at me, and I lost it. The laughter I’d been trying so hard to contain just rushed out, and she smacked my shoulder as I rolled around on the bed. I wasn’t laughing at her distress, of course, but the way her little face puckered up was too cute.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry; I don’t mean to laugh, but you look like an adorable little kitten when you’re upset.” She folded her arms and pouted before turning her back to me, and that kind of sobered me up just a little bit. It was hard to have a serious conversation such as this when, inside, I felt like jumping for joy.
That’s something else that has been happening a lot lately. Every once in a while, throughout the day, I’d get this burst of feeling in my gut, happiness I find hard to contain, and it’s all because she was back in my life, because she’d given me, given us, a second chance. I was feeling that way now, so it was kind of difficult having this much-needed talk at the moment, even though I was the one to open that door.
“Okay, let’s talk, let it all out.” I gave her the opening she seemed to need because no sooner had the words left my mouth than she ripped into me, in her quiet way, of course. She was never one to rant and rave, and usually, I could only gauge her level of upset by her body language, which I think is another reason why I used to push the envelope so much in the past. Since I didn’t plan on repeating my idiot mistakes, this time, I sat up and listened.
She laid out her grievances, most of which stemmed from the fact that I hadn’t trusted her even after everything that she had done for me. She felt slighted because she’d given me and the relationship her all, and in the end, I’d throw it away because of strangers’ lies. When she put it like that, I really was an ass. But I drew the line when she accused me of wanting an out back then and using those lies as an excuse. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I may not have been the best person back then, but one thing was for certain: I loved her more than life. Somehow, we ended up holding each other while she cried, and I beat myself up for ever doing that to her. My biggest regret in life to date is that I can’t undo what was already done. That I can’t go back and change everything so that our history wasn’t marred by my fuck-up.
But even with the conversation as it was, I felt at ease. I was amazed that we’d reached this point already, that we were back to being so comfortable with each other that this kind of petty fight was on the table. I thought for sure that we’d be walking on eggshells around each other for a while or that she’d go back to being that timid young girl who was afraid to rock the boat.
It hit me then how much she had grown up. She was all woman now. That strength I’d been threatened by at times was even more prevalent than before, but this time, instead of feeling like a shadow passing through her life, I felt emboldened by it. Because I knew that if no one else was, I had this amazingly beautiful being by my side.
“Fuck I love you.” That stumped her mid-sentence, and she got that soft, dewy look in her eye as she closed her mouth on whatever she was about to blast me with. “I love you too.”
When I opened my arms, and she fell into them, it was like every song I’d ever written for her had come alive. I made up my mind right then that those were the only songs I would sing at the concert.