Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
I wanted to step out of the car to meet her but had already been warned against it, but seeing how worn out she looked and still bombarded by fans on the sidewalk made it hard to just sit there and wait. Her added security was a big help in getting her through the melee, something I know she hates under normal circumstances. She never wants her fans to think that she’s too good for them; something else about her that I’d overlooked.
As much as she’d spent the day worrying about Janie, I was busy on the other end of that spectrum. After what I saw, through sober eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder what the world must think about the choices I’d made. It’s like trading in a diamond for a zircon, and not a good one at that.
I guess I’d kidded myself into believing that this would all blow over in no time, but how could I expect anyone else to move on from this when I was having a hard time with it myself? Everything her fans had said over the years had been true. She deserved so much better than me.
I’d been a blind, stupid fool who had left her in a most abhorrent way to be with someone who wasn’t even worth half her shadow. And I’d done it for the whole world to see. Looking at the two women in the same room this morning, it was hard to miss the differences between them, and there was no question that my Elena had her beat by a mile in every way possible.
There was no question, no real competition if you ask me. It was like dealing with two different species altogether. Now, my heart clenched as I watched her doing her best to keep it together for the people who supported her even as fatigue weighed her down.
How did I give this up? How did I come so close to losing the better part of myself? No wonder I needed to stay high to survive because I know now that life without her was not worth living; in fact, it’s like trying to live without a heartbeat.
I saw the strain in her eyes even as she smiled and signed one more autograph. Her team had gotten her through half the crowd, but they were no match for her hungry fans. “Fuck this! Guys, I’m sorry, I gotta go get her.” They exchanged a look that was suspect before nodding their heads.
“Go get your girl.”
I didn’t take my eyes off her as I stepped out of the car and started walking the short distance towards her. It didn’t take long for the crowd to notice me and take their attention off of her for a minute, which was all that was needed for her team to extricate her from them.
When she reached my side, I pulled her into me and kissed her forehead. “Go to the car; I’ll be right there.” I knew that would start a new feeding frenzy, this time with me in the middle, which was my intention. I’m better at pissing off fans than she is and have always been known for being a bit irascible to the public.
This time, though, I kept her in mind, that image she was always begging me to portray. It wasn’t hard after all; they’re just human like me. I think in that moment, I realized why I always had an issue with them. It’s because they always saw right through me and knew that I wasn’t worthy of her.
I, too, had felt that way without realizing it, and it had caused me to lash out in the past. What a time to have that revelation. I took a deep breath and hoped for the best as I tried something new.
“We’ll make a statement later, guys. Let her go home; she’s been on set since early this morning, and she’s tired. Watch her social media page for a time and place, okay.” One thing about her fans, they fucking love her. Even though they kept throwing out questions at me, they backed off enough for me to head back to the car without incident. I think the surprise of seeing me there had a lot to do with it.
***
*Mouth*
How had my life come to this? What in the world am I doing here? This is the second time I’ve been talked into a job, and both times happened to be in California. I didn’t know at first when they asked me to come here this time that they knew about my side hustle, and I still don’t know for sure, but now that I think about it, something is up.
The first time was on me because I’d asked them for help with the chick in prison; I didn’t get the feeling that they knew I would go after her, but maybe that’s when I showed my hand? I’m not sure anymore, but I kinda think that it was after that hit that they put two and two together and figured it out.