Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
I can still feel the anger and the rejection I felt when I realized it. Once the drugs wore off and the people around me had no use for me, some of them going so far as to laugh in my face and tell me where I was on the totem pole, it was too late; the ride was over.
I’d spent years after that trying any and everything to become significant again. I refused to accept the whispers going around Hollywood that I had only been given my chance because of my sister’s name, that I had never really been one of them. Refused to accept that my dreams were over or that I would be so heavily punished for something that everyone else did.
My younger brother had seen the writing on the wall years earlier and had tried to warn me, but I’d laughed him out of the room just because he was too weak to make it didn’t mean that things would be the same with me. But it wasn’t long before I found myself following in his footsteps and claiming religion.
He’d had a little bit of success with that angle and had even found work through his new scheme, but even that hadn’t worked for me. But at least it had given me an opening and a way into the church. I’d used what little money I had and what I could scrape together from begging and scams to buy my way in, refusing to accept my plight. Even the church didn’t want me; my name wasn’t big enough for me to matter.
But then, just when things were at their lowest, I stumbled upon something that was sure to get me back to where I wanted to be. I’d suspected years ago that things were not what they seemed in this place. Behind the glitz and glamour laid an underbelly of darkness, something I hadn’t fully appreciated because even when my star was on the rise, I hadn’t been privy to that level of acceptance.
It was sheer luck that I had stumbled onto the truth that the parties I’d frequented in the past were just child’s play compared to the ones the elite were invited to, and there was a hell of a lot more going on behind the scenes than I knew. But knowing hadn’t been enough; I needed something else to get my foot in the door.
It was a long shot, but I started thinking and planning until I had some semblance of an idea. So what? I had to use my daughter, my own flesh and blood. She wanted it too, didn’t she? She was the one who had come to me with the obsession that she tried so hard to hide behind mere admiration.
I had seen the same hunger in her that had lived in me for so long. We’d both danced around each other, both using the other for our own gains. She was still young back then but old enough to know that my so-called faith was nothing more than a façade. She got to see the real me behind closed doors after all and knew that my actions were in no way in line with the public persona I tried to sell.
But she hadn’t been much different; hadn’t she, too, tried to pull the wool over my eyes? She would’ve done anything to get what she wanted, going so far as to let herself be passed around at those parties, all in the name of getting close to Ryder, and we’d done it; we’d pulled it off, but she was just too dumb to make it stick, just like her stupid bitch of a mother.
“Hey, Andrews, snap out of it.” I shook my head to clear it and looked around with rising fear as one of the detectives stood in the open car door waiting to help me out. There was no way to fight the panic that arose when he pulled me out, and I’m not sure if I should’ve been disappointed that there was no line of reporters waiting for a hot scoop or relieved that the world wouldn’t get the chance to see me looking this way.
***
*Elena*
I couldn’t concentrate on the set, and it showed. I wish I wasn’t the kind of person who’d worry over her enemy, but I can’t help it. Seeing her like that eliminated some of the anger and animosity I felt towards her; well, sort of. A part of me still wanted her to suffer for what she’d done, but a bigger part of me couldn’t help but feel sympathy towards her.
I guess now that I had my man back, I could be a little forgiving, even though I knew that if the tables were turned, she wouldn’t have given me a second thought. As much worry as I felt, I had no idea what I could do, though, because Ryder was adamant that we were done with her, and the way he looked and acted when he dropped me off, I’m not sure I want to push his buttons.