Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
I kept asking them questions which all went unanswered, so I finally stopped, but all that was left to do was think, and my mind seemed hellbent on dwelling on things of the past. In my heart of hearts, I felt guilty, again, the drugs. The remorse was killing me, and I felt like crying.
I’d done this; this was all my doing. I’d selfishly wanted her life, but why? What was it about her in particular that had lit a fire in me? It wasn’t just about Ryder; it was their relationship as it had been played out in the public eye. The adoration and admiration they’d held as a couple, that’s what I wanted.
When I first met Ryder in person, my wants and desires were only compounded even more, and I knew I had to have him for myself. But where did I go wrong? I’m not the first person in Hollywood to break up a relationship, and they weren’t even married, so what’s the big deal?
What the hell am I thinking? When did I ever want to be her or like her? She didn’t deserve the life she had, and she certainly didn’t deserve to be the woman on Ryder’s arm. I’m the daughter of a known celebrity, and she’s just a little nobody with no familial background to speak of.
She’s not one of us like Mary said and didn’t deserve a seat at the table. I still hold that I’m way better for him than she’ll ever be. Didn’t Matt also agree? Matt turned out to be nothing more than a fraud. But even so, the magic woman had said that we were meant for each other; she couldn’t have been wrong.
But my family had paid her, so she’d probably say anything. But it was them I’d believed, them who had sold me hope and given wings to my dreams. Where is my fault, then?
You have plenty, Janie; it was your greed for something that wasn’t yours and never belonged to you. It was your callousness in trying to destroy a life that had done you no harm. What the hell? “What kind of drugs was in that box?” Why the hell is my mind turning against me?
***
*Lyon*
“What the hell is my terror up to now? She’s been quiet since last night, and now all of a sudden, she’s handing out orders like a general.” Mancini, that fuck sat across the room from me pretending to read something on his computer screen. I can’t let these clowns know that I have lost the plot and have no idea what the hell is going on around me.
It’s bad enough that my own kid was running circles around me but having grown men know that shit would make me lose face or some shit. One of the reasons I made the decision to stay on the island even after the furor of COVID-19 died down was to keep her ass isolated and out of trouble; who knew she’d have these fools eating out of her hands to the point that they did her bidding without even consulting me.
The whole lot of them have been walking around me like they knew something I didn’t ever since our return and that Mary woman’s death, more like murder, I’ve been catching my ass. “I have no idea; she hasn’t shared her plans with me.” Lying ass. I’m sure he’s up to his eyeballs in whatever the hell it is she’s up to. “Exactly what is it that you’re grooming my kid for?”
“Me? I met her like that. What did you groom her to be?”
“As to that, you’d have to ask her mother; she came out of the womb like that.” Pain in the ass. As if hearing my thoughts from across the ocean, my Facetime chimed, and I knew it was her without looking.
“What do you want now, little girl? Where are your aunts? Are they all on the island?”
“Daddy, guess what?”
“What?” Good, she still couldn’t lie to her old man, but I was still no closer to knowing what those damn women were up to.
“The twins are walking.”
“Really? I missed it.” Kat’s going to ride my ass for that one. “What else have your brothers and sisters been up to while I was gone?” She filled me in with her nosy ass, prattling on and on about every little thing her siblings had done in my absence. Wait a damn minute.
“Mengele, cut the crap; what are you up to in New York?”
“I’m not in New York, Daddy; I’m on the island. Did you forget?” My eye started twitching again.
“Fine, have it your way, but I have a question, and I want an honest answer, or I’ll send Lily and Nia back to whence they came.” Mancini picked his head up, but I ignored him. Let him glare at the wall.