Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
I have no skills to fall back on. I’d spent the last years of school focused on one thing and one thing only, and with the assurance of my father and Mary that I would one day be Ryder’s wife, I’d not put too much effort into my studies. Even if I had, what kind of life would I have if I had to go back to being a nobody?
Everyone knew me by now, and everyone would point and stare no doubt if I even attempted to have a life. It was over, all gone, with nothing to show for it. All my hard work had crumbled in less than one night, something it had taken me years to build.
Was it even worth it to relive those days? Days when I still had hope. Things had seemed so promising in the beginning. I’d forgotten in no time that the only reason Ryder was even with me was because of the hill of lies he’d been led to believe. By my wedding day, I’d convinced myself that it was real, that he truly loved me, and if our love wasn’t as strong as theirs, that it would one day get there.
I’d failed to see the signs, too caught up in the dreams I’d woven around the two of us to see the truth that was right in front of my eyes. It hadn’t taken long for the veil to be ripped from my eyes, though. My wedding night, when my new husband turned away from me in disgust, the night he spent sitting on the bathroom floor crying over his lost love, that’s when I first realized that things were not going to be what I’d imagined.
It was then I was tasked by Mary and Scott to feed him the drugs that would keep him by my side, and even then, I’d somehow convinced myself that he was mine. I’d overlooked the drugs and the fact that without them, he’d probably have gone running back to her within days of our getting married.
I couldn’t have that, and neither could the others, so they were more than willing to help me do whatever it took to keep him with me. But to what end? He was still back with her, and I was left out in the cold with nothing and no one. He’d never given me a chance, and now the whole world knows. How, then, can I face life after this?
He’d left nothing to the imagination last night with his posts. If anyone had any doubts before, they were all gone now, and they’d heard it straight from the horse’s mouth, so there was no denying the truth of what had been said.
He’d even divulged the fact that I had been the one using his accounts over the years to spread rumors and hate against Elena. He’d left me no dignity as he showed no mercy. Knowing him, he was probably doing it all for her, always for her. He was trying to make me hurt as much as I’d hurt her.
Now the whole world knows that I’d lied and schemed my way into his life from the very first time we met. The story I’d told in interviews about us only getting together once the two of them were over was now destroyed by his own hand. When the hell did he become Mr. Honesty?
For her, for her, he’d seen no problem with destroying me. Did he even give me a thought? Did he have even an ounce of compassion for me? It was obvious that he didn’t; he’d made it more than plain that I was nothing to him. Others may not realize it because he didn’t come right out and say it, but I knew he hated me.
Without drugs clouding his mind, he now saw me as an evil monster who’d disrupted his perfect life. Now everyone was blaming me not only for the demise of their precious relationship, oh barf, but also for the fact that he’d become nothing more than a junkie while with me.
They’d made comparisons between his time with me and his time with her, and of course, I lost once again. Whatever, to the victor goes the spoils. She’d won; she’d beaten me even after the hell that I had put her through. I hate her for that most of all. The fact that I had taken everything from her had broken her to the point that she could barely function those first few years after our marriage, only for her to now come back stronger than ever.
It’s not fair; I haven’t done anything wrong, nothing to deserve losing like this. I’d done nothing to have the world see me as this monster they were now painting me as. I was just a girl who’d fallen in love with an ideal. I’d just wanted a little bit of what she had. Her life was so perfect from the outside looking in, and I’d just wanted a taste of it. Was that so wrong?