Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
“I’m not sure I could either.”
“So the dinner,” I say quickly, needing to get this back on track. “We’ll just be normal and civilized, and everything will be fine.”
“Civilized. There’s a word, Becca. I’m not sure I can be civilized around you. If you don’t want me to take advantage of that young curvy body of yours, stay out of my way. Don’t shake that big gorgeous ass in my direction. Don’t aim those voluptuous perfect tits at me.”
I giggle. I can’t help it.
“Aim? I don’t aim them anywhere.”
He chuckles. I imagine his lips smiling widely, and my heart flutters.
That’s just in my mind.
How am I going to handle it in person after so long?
No, it just feels like it’s been a long time since we last saw each other. It’s only been weeks.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“So you agree it’s for the best?” I push on as if he hasn’t already given me his answer.
I can’t help but feel there should be something else.
We can’t end it like this.
It took me twenty minutes to build up to this phone call, walking around the hotel room, psyching myself up. And now it all feels like a big anti-climax.
Did you really think he would fight for you? a bitter voice hisses from within.
Of course, I know I shouldn’t have thought that. There was – is – nothing to fight for.
But that feels like a lie. So Ben and me, that feels like the most important thing to me.
“I agree it would hurt Alex if he knew the truth. I agree we should probably behave ourselves. But no, Becca, it’s not for the best. Never ask me to agree with that. I wish I could tear the fucking world apart, rip it to shreds, and put it back together, so you and Alex weren’t related. But then even that’s evil because I’d steal your brother from you, a sister from my best friend. I guess what I’m trying to say is….”
“The world is unfair?” I murmur, filling in the blank.
“Yeah, Becca,” he snarls. “It is. It’s a damn shame. But yeah, you’re right. We’ll be strangers at the party. I’ll do my best, at least.”
“I….”
Before I can say anything else, he hangs up.
I stare across the hotel room at my reflection. It’s too easy to imagine Ben sitting down next to me, wrapping me in his powerful arm, hugging me close as he leans down to kiss the top of my head.
It’s done now. He agreed.
I sensed emotion there, hunger, something fierce when he was giving his speech.
But he didn’t tell me no. He didn’t tell me we’d find a way.
This is the only way.
Wiping a tear from my cheek, I lie down, staring up at the ceiling.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ben
I stand outside Alex’s new house, a few feet from the gate, a bottle of wine in one hand and some flowers in the other. It seemed like the right thing to bring, the appropriate thing.
And that’s what tonight is about.
Appropriate.
There’s going to be no stolen kisses, no lust-filled looks. I’m going to be the most well-behaved an animal can be.
That’s what she makes me. A beast.
I can feel it happening now, and I haven’t even laid eyes on her yet. My whole body tremors as I walk the final few steps and press the doorbell.
The speakers' crackle as the microphone turns on. I can hear music in the background, a woman’s voice raised, and then Alex’s voice comes over the intercom.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.”
“Ah, awesome. Come in, bro.”
There will always be a warm welcome for me here. And why shouldn’t there be? Alex and I made our fortune together. He was with me at my mother’s funeral. I was his best goddamn man.
It’s like I need to remind myself of these facts as I walk up the gravel driveway. I parked a few streets over, knowing there were going to be a few cars in the drive. I didn’t want to get blocked in.
Like a criminal, I’m thinking of the getaway. I’m thinking of what I’ll have to do if I somehow ruin this.
I imagine blurting out during dinner, “I kissed Becca. But it’s worse than that. I want to make her pregnant. It’s all I can think about. I want to claim her, for life, for me. I want to make her mine. Nobody else ever gets to touch her.”
“Oh, Ben, how lovely.”
Tiffany jolts me from the whirlpooling thoughts, clasping her hands to her chest as she stands in the doorway. She’s one of the happiest people I’ve ever met, reminding me of Alex. Both of them seem to glow with the joy of being married.
She takes the wine and the flowers, gesturing for me to walk through the open-plan entrance way into the living room. The music plays softly, the chit-chat rising above it.