Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“Didn’t like it, I see?” I teased.
He looked at me, then rested our foreheads against each other. “I loved it. I love you. That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen. How? Why? What happened?”
“Can we go in first? I really have to piss.”
“Oh shit. Yeah.”
We went into the house, and I made a quick trip to the restroom after the long drive. After washing my hands, I threw water on my face, looked at myself in the mirror, and it all hit me—I’d come out in a very public way. I’d done it without my label or my manager knowing.
I took a few deep inhales, trying to steady my rapidly increasing breathing.
I’m trying to live my life. I have a right to be happy. I repeated some of the mantras my therapist had taught me.
When I walked back into the room, Law was leaning against the couch. He looked up at me, and I stopped. Stared. Freaked out a little inside. “Knock, knock,” fell out of my mouth.
Law smiled. “Who’s there?”
“A possibly out-of-work musician with anxiety and newly diagnosed depression, who might not ever be easy to live with and will always be oddly quirky, but who is so fucking in love with you that he’s asking you to deal with it anyway.” Wow. That had been a mouthful, but I couldn’t stop. “Who will always have moments like I’m having right now, where I’m both proud of what I did and have zero regrets, but I’m also freaking out. Who will often lose himself in music and write all night and maybe even sometimes stop sex to write, but it’s because you inspire me like nothing else ever has. Who is shy and a homebody, but who melts under your touch, and will write songs for you, and loves the feel of your curls wrapped around his fingers.” I shrugged. “That’s it. I can’t think of anything else, but it’s likely enough.”
Again, Law grinned. He pushed off the couch and walked over to me. “Do you want to know what I see?”
I nodded. I loved looking at myself through his eyes.
“I see the most creative person I’ve ever known. Someone who makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world because he chose me. Someone who is brave and kind. Someone unique. Someone who’s shy and a homebody but will go to the edges of the earth for someone he loves. Someone whose smile lights up a room, but he doesn’t see it, so I’m going to make it one of my life’s missions to make sure he does. Someone I’ve loved since I was eighteen years old, and someone I’ll love until the day I die. You’re not hard to love, Rem, but even if you were, I wouldn’t care. I’m not asking for easy. I’m asking for you.”
“You have me,” I replied, and Law’s mouth crushed mine. There was still a lot to figure out. I had my work ahead of me. My mental health had to be a priority, and I didn’t know what would happen with my career, but I knew that whatever it was, I would be okay.
We both would.
EPILOGUE
Lawson
Six Months Later
“Do you want another beer?” Griffin asked Remy, who nodded. It was a Friday night, and we were at Griff’s with the crew. I went less now than I did before Remy, but more often than I did when Remy first came back to me. Sometimes he came with me, other times he stayed home. It all depended on how he felt, which really, that was the truth with everyone.
“What about you?” Griff turned to me next.
“Nah, I’m the designated driver. Remy gets to play tonight,” I replied, and Remy leaned over and kissed me.
“I can’t believe you’re dating the Remington,” Cynthia said with a smile. “I’m so jealous.”
“I know, right? My boyfriend is the fucking best.”
Like I knew he would, Remy blushed.
It had been impossible to keep our relationship on the down-low after Remy’s appearance on the Casey Clark show, not that we’d wanted to. Still, one of the first phone calls I’d made had been to Cynthia. She and I hadn’t had any kind of commitment, but I felt it was only right that I talk to her about it.
She’d gushed about Remy, of course, and said she was happy for me, and that had been the end of it. She was dating someone now—Becca was as well, but Becca was more willing to admit it was serious than Cynthia was. I figured she was a little hard to tie down, like I was, but when she found the right person, she would be all in. Even if there had never been a Remy, we wouldn’t have been that for each other.
“You know, Remy,” Kellan said, “I love that you’re my friend and all, but it’s so weird listening to your songs now. I dissect everything and can’t help wondering if it’s about Law.”