Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Flashes of memories fill my mind as her tongue dances with mine. She’s kissing me deep, hard, and just the way I wanted her to do for so fucking long. I would have done anything for this moment. Anything in the world. But as her legs go around my waist and she rubs that sweet pussy against my dick, I know I have to push her away. I know I do, because the only thing I feel right now is guilt.
“Harper,” I growl, pushing her back. “You know you mean somethin’ to me, and part of me would love to keep goin’, but I’m married, and I’m no cheater.”
Her cheeks grow pink as she releases me. “I know, but I thought you two weren’t together ...”
“We’re not, because I hurt her and lied to her. She’s broken, and doin’ this will break her more. I’m not a monster. She’s my wife. I need to figure out what I want before I make any moves.”
Glancing away, I can see her face twist in frustration.
I’ve hurt her feelings, I know that, but it was never my intention to do so.
Honesty is the only thing I have left.
“So you want me to wait?”
“I want you to let me process this. I want the truth. I need to know what the fuck happened to you. There are a lot of unanswered questions, and it isn’t just as easy as dropping everything and running back into your arms. You gotta understand that.”
She frowns. “I told you, I’m not allowed to discuss what happened yet.”
“Why the fuck not? If you’re out of protection, then you’re safe. If you’re safe, why can’t you tell me?”
She splashes the water with her hand, angrily. “Because, Brian, we need to ensure that I’m not going to run into trouble being back out. It’s a process.”
Turning, I swim toward the shore.
I’m not certain just how much more of this I can take.
I have two women that want something from me, and yet I can’t figure out what the fuck it is I’m doing.
Jerking a towel out of the bag, I sit down on the sand, my hair falling forward as I glare down at my closed fists.
I need a fucking break.
Harper appears beside me a minute later, her voice soft now. “I’m sorry, I know this is hard for you. I’ve disrupted your entire life. If you want, I can go. I don’t want to cause anyone pain. If you want to be with your wife, I’ll have them move me to another town.”
“That’s just the fuckin’ problem, Harper. I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to lose you. I’m in a situation that I can’t fuckin’ figure out.”
My tone is clipped.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” she whispers.
“Yeah,” I grunt. “I fuckin’ don’t either.”
“I think you need some time. Maybe us doing this is too soon.”
She’s probably right about that.
“Yeah,” I mutter. “Time is good. Need to think.”
“I want to be with you, Brian. You know that. It’ll break my heart to leave, but if you decide you want to be with your wife, I will leave. I’m not a monster. I’m not going to stick around and destroy the happiness you have created for yourself.”
Fuck.
It would be so much easier if she wasn’t so damned good.
I turn, glancing at her.
She rakes her blue eyes over my face.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“Just give me time, yeah?”
She nods. “Of course. I’m here, whenever you need.”
That’s the problem.
I know she’s here.
And I don’t know if I want that to change.
What the fuck am I going to do?
11 – Janine
“YOU’RE DRUNK, HONEY. Are you sure you want to come in?”
Addison’s eyes travel over my face, and Cade stands by her side, his head tipped slightly, watching too. Serenity and Jackson are in front of us, waiting in the line to get into the sex club. Spike told them about it, and they decided they were going to come in and have a go. I decided I was going to, also. Why the hell not, right?
I haven’t had a night out in over a month now.
That’s how long it has been.
I haven’t spoken to or seen Muff in that time.
It hasn’t eased the hurt, not even a little bit.
It’s not for a lack of trying. He has called, showed up, banged on my door, tried to catch me at the club, but my determination far outweighs his, and I have managed to avoid him.
Each night I go visit my mom after dinner and Serenity comes by to sit with the kids while Muff comes and tucks them into bed. He does this every night, and I don’t stop him. He loves them, and what’s going on between us has nothing to do with them. He takes them some weekends and they go and stay with him, but I always make sure one of the girls or my mom does the handover.