Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“Muff!”
Ebony’s loud voice has my head whipping around just in time to see a flash of dark red hair before Ebony is lifted into the air. Taking a step forward, I freeze when I see Muff in the aisle, Ebony’s arms around his neck, Harper standing beside him. She has a basket in her hand, her blond hair loose around her shoulders, her blue eyes on me. She’s beautiful, I can’t deny it. She’s as breathtaking as I would expect her to be, and that only makes it all that much harder.
It isn’t her fault, and even though every part of me wants to hate her, I can’t.
She wasn’t the one who lied to me.
Still, seeing them in the store together rips my heart apart.
It hurts in a way I simply cannot describe.
A pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
My cheeks burn and my chest clenches as Muff walks toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. When he stops at the cart, he puts Ebony down and then reaches over to scoop Max up into his arms. Nuzzling his face into the little boy’s neck, he murmurs a hello and tells him how much he misses him.
That only makes it so much worse.
How the hell am I ever going to get over this?
How will I ever feel okay again?
Right now, in this very moment, I want to drop to the ground and scream just to make the pain go away for a single second.
Just a minute of relief.
It’s all I want.
Placing Max back into the seat, Muff looks to me.
I haven’t answered a single call or text, and when he comes to see the kids I go out and let Serenity stay with them.
I can’t face him, because it causes too much pain.
“You aren’t answerin’ my calls.”
I glance at Harper, who is standing back, not looking at me, and I appreciate her at least trying to be respectful.
“There’s nothing to say,” I murmur, low, so Ebony can’t hear me.
Muff steps closer, leaning in. “You can’t just run from me, Jaybird. It doesn’t work like that.”
I shiver, hating that he’s calling me Jaybird. I wish he wouldn’t use that name; I wish he wouldn’t say it in that tone.
He’s breaking me apart.
“It does work like that,” I whisper. “We’re done. There isn’t much more to say.”
“There’s fuckin’ plenty.”
“Muff,” Ebony pushes between us. “Can you come for dinner tonight? I want to show you my science project.”
I clench my fists, praying he tells her he can’t make it. If he tells her he can, then I have to endure it because I don’t want to be the one to break her heart any further.
“Yeah, princess.” Muff ruffles her hair. “I’d like that.”
“We’re having spaghetti!”
“My favorite,” Muff murmurs, meeting my gaze.
I can’t do this.
God dammit, I can’t do it.
“Come on, we have to go,” I say to Ebony, taking her shoulder gently and turning her toward the cart. “We’ll see Muff later.”
“Bye, Muff!” she calls, and I turn, without looking back.
I want to curl into a ball on the ground and scream just to ease the pain.
I’m so fucking in love with him, and everything about this feels ... broken.
How the hell am I supposed to get through an evening with him and not crumble?
Maybe he’s right, maybe I don’t have it in me to be anything other than the perfect woman everyone thinks I am.
Is Harper wild?
Is that why he’s confused?
Reaching the car, I unpack the groceries and strap the kids in, then I go around to the back of it and press a hand over my chest, gasping as the pain can no longer be contained. Tears roll down my cheeks as I think about them in the store together, probably going home to make love after they cook lunch. A loud, broken sob rips from my throat, and I shove a hand over my mouth so the kids won’t hear.
“Are you okay?”
A woman in a car nearby has gotten out and is carefully approaching, her hand outstretched, her brown eyes kind.
“Not really,” I sob. “I don’t want my kids to see me crying.”
She reaches into her purse and pulls out a tissue, then, she takes her sunglasses from the top of her head and hands them to me. “Wipe your face and use the sunglasses so they don’t see your red eyes. It’ll be okay. I don’t know what it is you’re going through, but I promise you, it’ll be okay.”
I stare at her, humbled by her kindness. “Thank you,” I whisper, wiping the tears from my face.
She smiles. “Stay strong.”
I’m trying.
God, am I trying.
10 – Muff
“THAT’S INCREDIBLE.”
Staring down at Ebony’s science experiment, I can’t help but be proud of how far she has come. She hasn’t had it easy, but she’s a bright light, and one day, she’ll shine that light over the world and make a difference.