Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
The message is short and informal, and it doesn’t leave much information. I know that’s strategic because they value the privacy of their clients. After I think that, I wonder why she left the message for Leon on my voicemail. Yes, it was me who called the clinic first, so they might have gotten things confused, but okay. Well, it’s done.
It’s done, and now I know Leon went for those tests.
Fuck, he went for those tests.
While my heart swells with pride and my chest feels eight times bigger than it should be, the worry slips in right after. If Leon went for the tests and it’s bad news, he’s going to be alone when the clinic dials the right number and calls him. My god, I do not want him to have to be alone, especially if it’s bad news.
I immediately try to call his number, but it goes to voicemail. The deep burr of his voice shoots through me, warming me, but I’m so flustered, and I don’t know what to say, so I hang up without leaving a message.
I sit behind my big desk, my hands trembling. Grabbing the letter opener with a shaking hand seems ill-advised, so I do what I haven’t done the entire time I’ve worked here. I just sit. I try to take deep breaths, but I’m freaking out a little.
Maybe I shouldn’t have left the way I did. Maybe I should have called, texted, or checked in. It wasn’t a pride thing. I just wanted Leon to figure things out on his own. If he didn’t want to do something, I wasn’t going to be able to change his mind. He’d seemed so close at the cabin, but then he reverted straight back to fear, pushing me away as soon as we were in the city. I didn’t want to push him into the tests again, and I also didn’t want to have to beg him to be with me. That’s not how a relationship should work. And yes, I did know what I was getting myself into, at least at the cabin, when I fought so hard for him. I don’t need him to be perfect. I just need him to want this. Us.
Coffee. Get some coffee.
Right. Because that’s the solution. Become more jittery than I already am. It’s something to do with my hands, though, so I shove back from the desk and walk over to the coffee machine in the waiting area. It’s for customers only, but there isn’t anyone around. I put a pod in and press the button, waiting for it to brew. In the meantime, I clean around the whole area, tidying up the few specs of dust that may have landed since I last hovered this morning.
When it’s finished, I take the coffee back to my desk and force myself to focus on the afternoon’s appointments, bringing up schedules, emails, and notes on my screen. I have things to print off, documents to get ready, and stuff that needs to be mailed out. Oh, and the mail. I have to get that delivered too. I don’t have time to space out or stop doing my job because I’m so lost in my worry for Leon.
Please let those tests have been good. Please, please, please.
One of the lawyers here has an appointment coming up in half an hour, but it’s nothing I have to get ready for. A few minutes later, I hear the front door open. It’s around the corner and down the stairs since this building is huge and ancient. I figure it’s Mr. Roberts here early for his meeting. After shoving my cup of coffee under the lip of the desk so that it’s out of sight, I put on my best—please have a seat. We’ll be right with you. And I’m not currently a huge freaking mess on the inside—smile.
But it’s not Mr. Roberts.
I’d know his scent anywhere.
Sandalwood. Fresh rain. Earth.
I’m on my feet before I even realize I’ve shoved the chair back so hard that it hit the copier with a thud. The copier makes a noise and spits out a piece of paper on the side tray that god knows how long was jammed in there.
He’s perfect, wearing one of his usual suits. All black, even the tie. I haven’t seen him in a month, and my body responds by nearly bowing in half. Heat swirls through me, heat and worry and all the feelings, every bit of everything I experienced back at the cabin.
His eyes are still the color of storm clouds, but they’re clear. He’s freshly shaven, and his hair is styled back in the usual way. He’s had a haircut, but this time, I didn’t book it for him. His clothes look fresh and clean, too, and I didn’t do that either. He probably drove here in his car that I didn’t clean and went to meetings I didn’t book. He’s living a whole life that has nothing to do with me. It hurts. I shouldn’t be jealous, and it shouldn’t suck after a stretch of time where I tried to work things out in my head, but it does. It still sucks, and the pain still has a bite to it.