Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“How is this being fair to you?” I ask because I truly want to know. “Even if I’m physically okay, I’m not okay mentally.”
“Then you need to change that. You need to go to therapy or some healing course or something. You should talk to a grief counselor or someone who specializes in childhood trauma. You need to forgive your mom for never calling the cops on your dad and for abandoning you. Not because she deserves it, but because it will make you feel a whole lot better. You need to…to… I don’t know. There’s a big freaking list. I can give it to you at work if you want.”
“You’re fired.”
At this, her mouth drops, and the scarlet in her cheeks deepens to a dark purple. She doesn’t scream at me, doesn’t go off on a tirade. She doesn’t even flip me off. Her whole face changes, the anger on her face morphing into shock. She bites down on her bottom lip, but she’s not going to cry. She just looks at me like I’m the pathetic one right now, the one that needs pity. It makes me feel gross and small, and I’m sorry that I pulled out that stupid ace from up my sleeve.
“I…it would just be so awkward,” I stammer, trying to bring myself out of the hole I dug, but I’ve made it, and I can’t just climb out and pretend I didn’t act like a total bosshole jerk who abused his power against his own wife—a woman who cares about him and who always, always had his back. “I’ll give you severance and make sure you have references and…I’m just sorry. I appreciate everything you did for me in every way, but this just isn’t going to work. Coming back here is real, and the tests are real. It’s like a death sentence. You can’t understand because you haven’t lived a quarter of what I have, and that’s not pulling rank. It’s just a fact. The other facts are that I don’t want a wife because I’d be a shitty husband, as I’m proving to you right now. I never wanted to be married, and I don’t want kids. You might have convinced me that I can be a decent person, but I’m not marriage material.”
Darby shakes her head. She’s clearly coming around to the mindset that there’s no use in arguing with me right now. “Fine.” She throws her hands up in the air, exasperated and at the end of her patience at last. “Fine, Leon. You want to fight to damage things beyond repair, but I’m not going to let you.”
I press a little harder, waiting for the clean break that I think is going to give me so much relief. I can hear it snapping, the strings that held us together, but that breakage just feels like total shit. “Too bad. You don’t have a say in it.”
Finally, at last, she gives me the middle finger. “Call me if you ever want a grilled cheese. Or anything else. You know where to find me.”
I don’t give her an answer.
I also don’t stop her from leaving.
Or from grabbing her bag and stalking over to the cab that has been waiting at the curb for her.
She gets in and leaves, leaving me totally and utterly alone.
But that’s what I craved, wasn’t it? The stillness. The silence. The peace of it. The strength of it. Whatever I wanted and whatever it is, I’ve got it now.
18
DARBY
You know how they say everything works out for a reason? I’m not sure I believe that, but Leon firing me forced me to apply for other jobs, which is how I ended up working as a receptionist at this huge law firm, and gosh, I think I’ve discovered my true calling in life. I think I want to go back to school and become a lawyer. I’ve been here a month, and the passion of everyone here is so apparent. Granted, this firm isn’t like many others, I imagine. Here, people care about what they do. They care about their clients. Everyone is also super kind and nice to me, which makes a huge difference. I really, really love this job, even if it is just working the front desk and being rather harried doing it because the firm is super busy.
Right now, I happen to be multitasking like a total badass. I’m working the copier, making copies of something that is as long as the freaking dictionary, I have the work phone balanced on my shoulder, talking to a woman who needs to reschedule with her lawyer, who happens to be solidly booked up for the next week, and I’m also working magic on the schedule, making room for her because it’s an emergency. On top of all that, I’m also ordering coffee online because yes, some places let you do that.