Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
“For fuck’s sake. I’ve known you both my whole life. Remy and I are only having fun together, and that is separate from my friendship with you.”
“You don’t get it. You never have.” He waved his hand. “And I’m done talking about this.”
He strode off in the opposite direction from our dorm, and I just let him be.
It felt like everything between us was ruined as I walked back to campus. But it also seemed inevitable, like it was going to come to a head one way or another.
Even after Bailey got home and climbed into bed, he didn’t talk to me or even say good night. I tossed and turned in my sheets, wondering how this would play out.
When a text came through, I knew it was from Remy. I pulled the covers over my head and read the message.
You okay?
Relief flooded me even though nothing was resolved. Yeah, fine.
Maybe I shouldn’t have walked away, but it was better than strangling my brother or saying something I might regret.
It’s okay. I told you to leave, and I meant it.
Did you two make any headway?
Not really. But no matter what, at least it’s not a secret anymore.
It was the one thing in my life I couldn’t talk to my best friend about, and that had felt pretty shitty.
I’d understand if you just wanted us to chill for a while. Or forever.
Yeah, okay. My chest ached. I also can’t deny that bums me out.
Same, he replied, and I breathed out. Maybe it’ll be okay.
And maybe it won’t. I frowned at my phone. Guess we’ll see.
Yeah. Good luck at your meet this weekend.
Thanks.
Night, Chlorine Boy.
I cracked a small smile. Night.
Our Friday practices and Saturday swim meet were awkward with a capital A. Bailey barely talked to me as we met at the team bus, and he sat with someone else the whole three-hour ride.
“You okay?” Jordan asked, sliding onto the seat beside me, and I could only shrug. He glanced behind him at Bailey. “Does this have anything to do with Remy?”
I nodded. “Don’t want to talk about it, though.”
“No worries.” He sagged against the seat. “I’ve got my own troubles.”
I arched a brow. “Steve?”
“Have you ever felt like one time just isn’t enough?”
“Pretty sure you know I have.”
He knocked his shoulder against mine. “Boys.”
“Tell me about it.”
The team as a whole did well, even though I felt off-kilter, coming in fifth in the 100m fly. Bailey played the part, cheering when he needed to, but I could tell he was only going through the motions as well.
Danica still made him smile, and she didn’t seem to treat him any differently, so that was good news. I would’ve felt more awful if he’d blown it with her too.
The next day was a tiny bit better, probably because I lowered my expectations and got used to the silent treatment from him.
It was late by the time we returned to the room because of celebratory drinks at the swim house after the meet. Andrew had broken his own record in the backstroke and qualified for an upcoming invitational, so everyone was in a good mood. It was exciting stuff, even if I felt numb the whole time. Once we cut the lights and climbed into bed, I had a shit ton of pent-up things I wanted to say, so I let the words spill out of me into the quiet room whether he responded or not.
“You’re important to me, Bailey. And you’ve stuck by me through big stuff in my life. So it kills me to have it come to this.” I gulped in a breath. “I crushed on your brother big-time when I was a teen. So to have my crush want me in the same way as an adult feels pretty damned good. Maybe I got carried away or just wanted to keep something good for myself. I know you feel really strongly about this, so I’ll figure out how to—”
“Damn it, Alex,” he blurted. “I’ve been a horrible friend. I can’t see straight when it comes to Remy. We used to have fun and confide in each other about stuff, but it’s been years.”
I tried to tame my runaway breaths. “Do you miss that?”
“Yeah, of course.” He sniffed. “I miss my brother. I just can’t seem to get past…”
“He’ll be involved in your life forever. Maybe you need to find a way.”
“I don’t know if I can.” He shifted the covers. “Suppose only time will tell.”
“Yeah, guess so…” It was something, at least. “And Danica? How does she feel about it?”
“Fuck. I thought she’d definitely tell me she was done after she witnessed that shit on the beach. Instead, she let me talk and share my feelings, and I’m…so goddamned lucky that I didn’t completely blow it.”
I smiled at the ceiling. “Sometimes that’s all we can ask for…for someone to be there for us.”