Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 115288 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115288 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
It’s especially difficult when I’m surrounded by my sisters and their significant others. It’s not that I don’t want either of them to be happy and in love. It’s knowing that for a while it felt like I had that, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get it back.
So while the grand opening is an amazing distraction from my mess of a life, it also shines a bright, unwelcome light on what I stand to lose. And that breaks my heart.
On Sunday morning we fly back to Colorado Springs. One of the perks of London being married to a seriously rich man whose net worth is close to a billion dollars is that he has his own private jet, which means no waiting at the airport or standing in lines. We just board the plane and head home.
It’s a small plane, and the nicest one I’ve ever been on, with tables set up between the seats that face each other and recline fully to lie-flat beds. Once we’re in the air, the flight attendant brings out drinks. Since London has recently stopped breastfeeding, she joins me in a glass of champagne.
We clink our glasses. “Cheers to a successful grand opening of our first franchise!” London says. “I think Mom and Dad would be really proud of how far we’ve come with Spark House.”
“It’s amazing that the whole reason behind it was to keep our family close together, and that’s exactly what it’s done for us,” I agree.
“I don’t think they ever would have dreamed this would be possible. I know I didn’t think we’d be here.” Avery motions to the plane and then clinks her orange juice and soda water against our glasses. She waves her hand around in the air as her eyes turn glassy. “Oh my gosh. What is wrong with me?”
“You’re pregnant and your emotions are leaking out of your eyes, babe.” Declan passes her a tissue.
“I never cry.” She dabs at her eyes and gives the damp tissue an annoyed look.
“You rarely cry, but this is a big deal. You’re allowed to be emotional about it,” Declan reassures her.
“It really is amazing how far you’ve come in the past few years,” Jackson says and winks at London.
“It wouldn’t have been possible without you.” London kisses his cheek.
He takes her chin between his finger and thumb and brushes his lips over hers before she leans back in her chair.
I turn away, blinking back my own tears, but it’s not because of the event. It’s seeing both of my sisters with their partners and not knowing what’s going to happen with Gavin. I’ve reached out and left the ball in his court.
Avery reaches over and squeezes my hand, whispering, “It’s going to be okay.”
“I want you to be right, but I don’t know.” I squeeze back and slip my hand out from under hers. “I guess we’ll see when we’re back home.”
London gives me a concerned look. “Have you heard from Gavin at all?”
I shake my head. “I messaged him before we left, but I haven’t heard from him since then. I’m trying to give him space. I just don’t know how much is enough or too much. And honestly, I meant it when I said I can’t be in a relationship where I’m second to a ghost. It’s not fair to me. Or him. Or Peyton. I’ve got enough on my plate, especially with my final paper due next week. I can’t handle all of these ups and downs.”
“Do you want to take some time off so you can focus on that?” Avery asks.
“Honestly? It’s not time off that I need. The social media stuff only takes up a fraction of the time it used to. Mostly I’m signing off on things and adding extra content to personalize our feeds, and that’s the part I really enjoy. Bringing on a social media liaison and a whole team of people who create content for us has changed the scope of my job.” I tap on my armrest and look around at my sisters and their husbands. If ever there was a time to lay it out on the table, it’s now. “Can I be totally honest with all of you?”
“Yeah, of course.” My sisters nod in tandem.
“I understand why we’re growing Spark House. Both of you have families and kids and this all makes sense, and you’re both doing an amazing job.”
“So are you,” Avery says quickly.
I give her a soft smile. “I’ve tried to find ways to adapt with all the changes, but I can’t pretend it’s been easy. And I know it’s been a lot of change for all of us, but you and London are good at finding ways to keep doing the things you love, and it hasn’t been the same for me.”