Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
But I missed Nolan. Not just sleeping by him. It felt like a fracture between us that I somehow needed to fix.
11
Nolan
George was my last lesson of the day, and as he closed the music book he used to practice at home, we made small talk about the weather and about my band.
“Someday, I’ll make it out to see you play—if I can stay awake long enough.”
I chuckled. “My parents say the same thing. It’s okay, no worries.”
Though I’d always been a night owl, the older I got, the better I understood that sentiment, at least as far as turning into more of a homebody.
George said, “It would be nice to see what the nightlife is like again after being married for so many decades.” A devilish grin quirked his lips. “Maybe I’ll even meet a nice lady. For some companionship.”
“You never know.”
I wouldn’t point out that the majority of our fans were half his age. But hey, you only lived once and all that. Plus, he’d said on more than one occasion how lonely he felt without his wife and that he was glad his daughter had encouraged him to seek out more hobbies.
“Why are you not married?” George asked, and it made me pause. He had ventured into personal territory—not that we never had before, but normally it was focused on his wife and daughter.
I shrugged. “Don’t want to be.”
“Haven’t found anyone special yet?”
The question stopped me in my tracks because, lately, it felt like my whole worldview had shifted.
I certainly didn’t want my friendship with Ellis to slip through my fingers over this, whatever this was. And it felt like that was exactly what was happening. His announcement about his date at practice had seemed purposeful—meant to create distance between us—though why shouldn’t he resume dating? I’d never wanted a serious relationship, and he always had, so why would I stand in his way?
Besides, what exactly did I want from him that I wasn’t already getting?
It was like Ellis had rewired my brain to the point that I missed him in the evenings, his laughter and warmth, so maybe I was the relationship type after all.
Christ, listen to me. Where the hell had that thought come from?
Ellis was finally able to sleep in his own bed, and that was good news, so I needed to get over myself.
“I’ve had girlfriends over the years, but I guess nothing came close to making me feel…” Like I did with Ellis? That electric connection and comfortable closeness? How my skin felt on fire lying next to him in the middle of the night, and my stomach always got this gnawing feeling when I knew I was about to see him? “Relationships are just too much work. I’m happy with my life the way it is.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I only hope…” George glanced away. “Never mind, none of my business.”
“No, go ahead, it’s okay,” I said as I began packing away my stuff.
“I just hope someday you get to experience what I did with my Louise. Yes, it’s been a painful three years since she passed away, but I’d never give up the wonderful life we had.”
He swiped at his eyes, and I felt a stirring in my chest, a yearning that felt foreign to me. That sort of happiness seemed so rare, and I’d certainly seen the opposite with my own parents. So much so that Annabeth and I were both pretty cautious when it came to relationships.
“How did you know she was the one?”
“I don’t think it’s the same for everyone. I knew right away. Some don’t, and it takes them longer.” He gripped his chest. “But it’s this unmistakable feeling that they fit with you, and you don’t want to ever be without them. Like your hearts are keeping the same rhythm, and it feels right. Of course we had our ups and downs, as all couples do. But I never stopped loving her or wanting her. Even to just be in the same room with her or hold her hand. Anyway, I’ve blathered on long enough.”
I swallowed around the boulder in my throat. “That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
My heart throbbed the entire way back to my apartment. Mostly because I knew that Ellis had a date tonight with Shana. His car was still in the lot, so he hadn’t left yet. I stopped at his apartment door and almost knocked until I heard the music—the hard-rock station we sometimes listened to in the car. I could also hear him singing, so he must’ve been in a good mood. No way I wanted to ruin it. Or have him think I was some sort of stalker.
Even though it was killing me, I forced my legs to move toward the elevator.
As soon as I got upstairs, I tried to ignore the urge to reach out to him, but I pulled out my phone anyway.