Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
“She won’t—”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone,” I said, then gave the student a pointed look. The question might’ve sounded innocent, but this particular student consistently taunted Chase. “Would anyone else be interested in taking one home?”
A few others raised their hands.
“Okay. We can see about separating them at the roots. But you’ll have to nurture them to help them grow before taking them home. Sounds like a plan?”
The students nodded excitedly. We carried on with the lesson, and by the end, there was a line at the sink to wash hands before the bell rang.
Stepping to the door as they filed out, I watched the hallway to be sure students moved along. The administration had instructed the teachers to always be on the lookout, given the increase in violence at schools as of late. We were living in the age of school shootings, after all.
I watched as two girls stood close together at their lockers. That was nothing new, but I was suddenly noticing things with fresh eyes. When they casually touched fingers before pulling away, I realized my suspicions might’ve been right.
Those girls were braver than me. Sure, I’d done what I needed to survive in a robbery, but I was still too chicken to face my confusing feelings about my best friend. We had jerked off together, and watching him come had spurred me on enough to make me shoot. What did that say about me? Maybe I was just confused and needed to finally get on with my life; otherwise, wouldn’t I have clued in to these feelings long before now? Nolan helped me through something traumatic, and I was obviously feeling…what? Grateful, perhaps. A closer connection to him.
I thought about Shana, the woman I met at the show. I lifted my cell and texted her because why not? She was attractive and easy to talk to. Maybe it was exactly what I needed right then. Firing off the message, I headed to my parents’ house for an early dinner. As time went on, Mom stopped being so worried about me, so this visit would likely be more pleasant.
I hugged my mom and stepdad, and we caught up in the kitchen while Mom started dinner. I helped her chop vegetables, looking forward to eating one of my favorite stir-fry meals.
“You should stay here tonight, honey,” Mom said as we were finishing dinner. “I made an apple pie for dessert, and we can eat it while we catch up some more.”
My stepdad winked at me because he knew Mom still treated me like a kid sometimes. But somehow, that idea appealed to me, and the earnest look in her eyes finalized the decision for me. I’d been more standoffish with her lately, so I had a lot to fill her in on—namely, my sessions with Alicia. Though I also felt like I wanted to keep that to myself for a while longer. I’d recently had a nightmare involving my biological father, and though I knew it wasn’t real, it had left me shaken because it brought back how heartless he’d been toward me as a kid. It was something I wanted to speak to Alicia about without alerting my parents.
“I think I might stay tonight. Who can pass up your pie?”
I did wonder why I’d agreed so easily. Was it because I was trying to avoid Nolan after what happened last night? But maybe staying here would help create distance between us, give us room to breathe and think.
After I helped clear the dishes, I texted Nolan. Just a heads-up that I’m staying at my parents’ house tonight.
It took him a few minutes to respond, so I wondered if I’d disappointed him. Christ, I was thinking too hard about it.
Cool. I have a late lesson tomorrow night, so I’ll meet you at practice.
I breathed out. Maybe this was exactly what we both needed.
I was stuffed after a second scoop of ice cream, but hanging out with my parents was actually nice, and they were always very supportive, if a bit overprotective.
My single bed felt small, but it was cozy enough—safe too—and as I hunkered down with the lights out, I received a text from Shana. We went back and forth for the next hour, and getting to know her felt good. And helped distract me enough that I was able to get my mind off Nolan.
The next morning, I had to stop at my place to change for work, but I didn’t mind. I’d been able to get a decent night of sleep at my parents’, even if it felt a bit foreign. Maybe getting on a waiting list for a different place was for the best. A nice change of scenery. And maybe it’d be better if I did that on my own.
I ignored that solid drumbeat in my chest telling me that didn’t sit right. But things were getting too intense with Nolan, and I didn’t know what to do. I was relying on him too much, almost like a crutch, and ever since we’d watched that show together, I’d been thinking all sorts of things not only about him but about myself. It was bewildering, and I already had other things in my life I was trying to figure out.