Total pages in book: 144
Estimated words: 135382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 677(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 451(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 677(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 451(@300wpm)
He hadn’t. He’d been upfront and honest about what he’d wanted, and that was precisely why she was in the bind she was in. She could trust him when he said he would be there, but that was about their baby, not her.
At some point she was going to face a terrible decision and she had no idea what she would do about it. And she felt stupid standing around here in a bikini. It was ridiculous and she wasn’t sure what she’d been thinking. “I’m going to go change. This is silly. We need to be back at the guest house working on this problem, not playing dressup.”
He took her hand and she found herself back in the conference room. “You want to go and get dressed and sit and watch a movie you won’t be able to remember tomorrow because your mind is on something else? Because we’re not going home until this party is over. All the bodyguards are working overtime. This was a chance for a few of them to get a break. Do you want me to call Remy and tell him the men need to come back in?”
She shook her head. “I’m not trying to be a pain. I’m just not into this.”
“Because you’re not giving it a chance.” Brody walked over to the wall and used the dimmer switch. The room’s harsh lighting immediately softened. “I want you to stop panicking and take a deep breath.”
She hadn’t taken a deep breath all day. Not since last night when Brody had taken her to bed and she hadn’t been able to think about anything except him. “I’m not panicking. I’m worrying. Anya’s out there. It seems wrong that I’m playing sex games in here while she’s missing.”
He stared down at her. “We haven’t even started yet. Would you prefer I got you a hair shirt to wear? It won’t look as good on you, but it will irritate your skin, make you feel like shit. Maybe I could find a nail for you to sit on?”
“Don’t be condescending.”
He shrugged slightly. “You’re the one who seems to think you have to martyr yourself to the universe or something. Now if you tell me you’re scared and all you want is to cuddle up somewhere and talk about it, then I’ll do that. But that’s not what this is about, is it?”
“Maybe I don’t want to spend time with you.” The words sounded stubborn even to her own ears.
His lips quirked up in a lopsided smirk. It was wrong that she found it incredibly sexy. “Then you probably wouldn’t have asked me to kiss you before. You wouldn’t have practically melted in my arms.”
“I did not melt.” Except she’d felt kind of melty. She felt that way every single time they were in a room together, and that was part of the problem. She was fairly sure melting around him was a bad thing. Even if it felt good and right to be in his arms.
“Oh, you were close to it.” He leaned over, brushing his nose to hers. “This close. One second more and you would have been limp and warm and submissive, and all those things that would make this a lovely night. But that’s what you’re afraid of. You’re afraid to enjoy yourself because you think somehow that your suffering is going to help your friend. It won’t.”
“It feels wrong.” She couldn’t help it. He was right. There was something deep inside her that thought she didn’t deserve any of this, that she was still somehow stuck in a dark place where she needed to withhold the good things of the world from herself.
“No, you’re not feeling at all right now. You’re thinking,” Brody corrected. “Getting you out of that head of yours is my number one job tonight. You did good, Steph. You got out and you made it to the safest place you could. Anya knew what she was doing. She was trying to do good too, and we’re going to do everything in our power to get her back as fast as we can, but you can’t help us at all if you don’t rest, and you can’t rest if you never relax.”
How long had it been since she actually relaxed? Well, besides the night before? The night before had been heavenly, and now she was wondering if she’d deserved it at all. “How can I relax when someone I know is going through something awful?”
His eyes turned warm and serious, staring down at her like he was trying hard to figure out how to handle her. “I want you to answer a question and if you can answer yes, then I’ll tear this whole party down and get you home. I won’t care what anyone else says or needs. I’ll do it all for you. If you answer no, we do this my way. Can you agree to that?”