Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
“Has he told you anything about the dreams?” she asked. “Any details that might help us figure out what they’re about?”
“No. He’s always really out of it when he wakes up, and by the time he’s coherent again, he always says he doesn’t remember. I’m terrified for him, Dr. Tanner.”
“That’s understandable, Jamie. I know you only want what’s best for Kage. Anyone can see that.” She paused and pursed her lips, her eyes softening sympathetically. “That’s why what I’m about to say is so difficult.”
My heart thudded. Did I want to hear this?
“As Kage’s therapist, I am privy to confidential information that you don’t have. I have also spoken to Kage at length about the nature of your relationship. He confides everything to me. His hopes, his fears, everything. Obviously, due to patient-therapist confidentiality, I can’t share details. But based on everything I already know about my patient and the things he is currently telling me, I have reason to believe that the reason for the mental breakdown he’s experiencing is…” She gave me a piteous look over her reading glasses and took them off. “I think it may be his relationship with you.”
“Me?” The ground fell away, and I was floating. “Mental breakdown? I thought he was just having, you know, some issues. A few bad dreams isn’t such a big deal, right?”
She twirled the arm of her glasses between her thumb and forefinger. “You just said yourself that you’re terrified for him.”
Yes, I had said that, hadn’t I?
“Let me put it bluntly. Kage is having issues, as you say. But for someone with a past like his— with so much tragedy and heartbreak— issues has a whole different meaning than it would for you or me.”
“What kind of tragedy and heartbreak? Can’t he… How about drugs, or more therapy? Maybe we could come in together and work it out. I could transfer schools. I’ve actually already considered moving to UNLV.”
“Jamie.” Her tone was pitying. “If we don’t get Kage some relief from this stress he’s under, I’m afraid he may attempt suicide again.”
“What?” I jumped up off of the sofa. “Again?”
“Sit down, Jamie. Calm down. I know you want to help him. I think I know a way that you can help him, and keep another tragedy from happening.”
My heart was pounding out of my chest.
“What can I do?” I asked, fearing the answer.
She took a deep breath in and out, then clasped her hands primly in her lap. “You can cut ties with him.”
“But, he doesn’t want that.”
“Like I said, I’m privy to information that you aren’t. And while I’m not at liberty to discuss everything, I believe you may already know that he’s considering marrying Vanessa Hale.”
I gasped, instantly giving away the fact that I had never heard any such thing.
“Oh, I assumed Kage had told you. He led me to believe that he’s been honest about everything he’s been doing. That the two of them have been dating again.”
“He wouldn’t do that,” I whispered.
“It’s nothing personal. He cares a great deal about you, Jamie. Which is why it’s proving so difficult for him to lead this double life of his. Vanessa is good for him. He acknowledges that fact, and he loves her. He also desperately wants children. I’m sure you know he lost his parents and his older brother when he was a very young boy. He’s always dreamed of having a family of his own, and Vanessa can give him that.”
“This can’t be true.”
“He’s already given her a ring, Jamie. I can’t believe he hasn’t been honest with you about this. He told me he had. I’m sorry. If I’d known, I never would have approached you like this.”
CHAPTER 13
Being apart was different this time. Before had felt like kicking heroin cold turkey, this time was like assimilating back into society after being stranded on an island. Instead of being hypersensitive and shaking through the night, I was numb. Nothing made sense. I went through the motions. I phoned it in.
Dr. Washburn had helped me get enrolled in classes in absentia, so that all I had to do was show up on the first day of classes. Trey and Braden were loud. They were busy, and they made a natural disaster of the living room, slinging books onto every surface, screaming at video games. The kitchen looked like a peanut butter and jelly factory exploded. There were towels everywhere, and sneakers, and girls’ purses. And there was laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.
It was the most depressing time of my life.
I spent half of my time in class or locked away in my room. The other half I spent in the new MMA gym I’d joined the day after classes started, thanks to the generosity of my wonderful parents. I hadn’t told anyone else about the classes. It was my little secret, and I didn’t want to share it, especially since my main reason for joining was to feel close to Kage.