I Could Never Read Online Penelope Ward

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Forbidden Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
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I lifted one out. “What the heck are all these?”

“I saw those, too. I guess Wayne must’ve given them a lot of donations over the years.”

“Jesus.” I laughed. “No pun intended.”

“We could write something down every minute of every day and not make a dent in those notepads. I thought about clearing them out to make room in the drawer, but I don’t want to just throw them away. Wayne obviously earned those. So we should use them.”

“I guess, yeah,” I said, tossing it back in the drawer.

She sighed as she stood up and brought her plate over to the sink. “How was the visit with your brother earlier? I never asked.”

“Good. It was nice to see him. It’d been a while.”

“He has kids, right?”

“He and his wife have a girl and a boy. Maya is eleven, and Max is nine. They were in school, so I haven’t seen them since I got back.”

“You said you have another brother?”

“Yeah. He’s single and also lives in town, not far from my dad.”

“Your dad lives alone?”

“Yup.”

I got the feeling she was itching for me to say more about my family—namely what happened with my mother. But I was in no mood to get into it. So I changed the subject by turning the tables on her.

“What about your family? Where are they?”

“It’s just my mother. She lives in Oregon with my stepfather.”

“No siblings?”

“No.”

“Whereabouts in Oregon?”

“Bend. That’s where I grew up.”

“Isn’t that where the last Blockbuster video store was located?”

“Yup.” She laughed. “Very good.”

“What about your dad?”

Carly hesitated a moment. “He left when I was ten. Moved to Arizona. Remarried a widow and basically became a father to her kids instead.”

Wow.

I swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ve gotten used to the idea of him not being in my life. Not everyone stays a permanent part of your life, you know? I’ve learned that the hard way, I guess.”

I let her words sink in. “That’s a lesson I’ve also learned. Some losses are much tougher than others, though.” I leaned against the counter, gathering my thoughts. It seemed only fair to open up a little in return. “The other night…I cut our conversation short when you asked me about my mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to talk about it because it’s still tough for me.”

She nodded but stayed silent.

“She left our house when I was eleven—moved a couple hours away and I didn’t see her much. Still don’t, really, after all these years.”

Carly’s mouth curved downward. It looked like she felt sorry for me, which I fucking hated. It reminded me of how I’d felt as a child at events where every kid had their mom with them except me. I never wanted people to feel sorry for me, mostly because I never wanted to bring attention to the fact that my mother had chosen not to be in the picture. It would’ve been different if she were dead and had no choice. But to me, there was no greater shame than your parent consciously deciding that life was better without you.

“She just didn’t want to be a mother?” Carly finally asked.

It was even more complicated and messed up than that.

“My mother had an affair with my father’s brother. She’s still with him today. My dad kicked her out, and she didn’t exactly put up a fight to stay in our lives. We keep in touch occasionally, on a superficial level, but we’re not close. She’s selfish and has never made an effort to make things better.” I paused. “I also think she stays away because she knows how painful it is for my dad to see her with my uncle Stone. But she’s refused to leave him. She chose him over us. That’s the very short version of the story.”

“Wow. Okay.” She nodded sympathetically. “Everything makes more sense now. I know you said Yvonne was like a second mother to you.”

“Not a second mother, my only mother.” I looked down. “While she was alive.”

“I’m sorry. Brad never mentioned your family situation.”

“He was probably conditioned to not talk about it because that’s how I trained him.” I looked up at her. “When you told me about your dad leaving, though, I felt like I had to say something.”

“Between my father and your mother…” She shook her head. “I guess we found a third thing we have in common.”

“You’ve been counting?”

“Well, there are so few…” She winked. “Not that hard to keep track.”

“What are the other two again?” I arched my brow. “It ain’t a love of pumpkin.”

Carly counted on her fingers. “One was missing Brad. Two was pistachio ice cream.”

“Ah. Yes,” I muttered. “One won’t ever change.”

She looked like she was gonna say something else, but I’d had enough of talking about sad shit for now.

“Well, dinner was delicious. Thank you again.”

“That sauce was Brad’s favorite. One of the few things I can cook well.”


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