How Not To Be A Goddess Read Online Marian Tee

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"That's, um, nice to know."

My name is Sssusssan.

That's how her voice sounded by the way. Like a whisper that slithered straight into your ear instead of going through the proper channels. Vocal cords. Larynx. Air flow. Who needed them when you could hiss insidiously like a Gargon?

"I'm Saoirse—-"

The usurper.

I'd normally take offense, but because I was LOTUS, I decided to take the higher road. "It's, um, nice meeting you." And in case you were thinking it - my decision had nothing to do with the fact that my companion was a Gorgon. Really.

Thinking that we needed to establish a bit more rapport before heading out on what was possibly a life-threatening quest (God, just using that word made me feel like I'm Zelda IRL), I racked my brains for something else to say but still ended up with something lame.

"I'm glad I won't be doing this alone."

The Gorgon simply stared at me.

I decided to give it another try. "How do you know Mira?"

I ssserve her.

"I see." But actually, no. I didn't. How did that one go about acquiring a Gorgon as an employee?

And now, ssshe sssays I am to ssserve you.

The Gorgon's lip curled as she spoke, and it explained a lot. Like mistress, like servant, which also meant I now had another person whose approval I need to win.

But that was fine.

Part and parcel of being LOTUS, right?

So I summoned up another smile, saying, "I'd rather think we're partnering up for the common good."

That is not proper. Mistress Mira was right. You think like a commoner.

Wonder if Mistress Mira also told her I could punch like a commoner—-

LOTUS, I reminded myself with effort, and so I forced myself to pretend like I didn't hear her say a word. "Anyway..." I took the partridge out of my pocket and showed it to her. "Mira says you know how to make it—-"

I didn't even get to scream.

Just like her mistress, Sssusssan grabbed my hand without warning, and next thing I knew, she had the partridge in her other hand and used its beak to prick my finger.

Holy—-

I actually felt the partridge come to life, its iron beak turning warm as it drank a drop of my blood.

Sssusssan released my hand and hurled the partridge into the air. A part of me expected it to fall to the ground, but instead its iron wings started flapping as the bird hovered over our heads.

Now, we follow.

The partridge flew at a steady pace, and it felt weird at first, walking under skies a flaming shade of orange but not have sweat clinging to my skin. Soon after, we were climbing the same hill Hadrian had taken me to yesterday, but with so much happening between then and now, the memory already seemed like an eternity ago.

My curious and chatty nature eventually got the better of me as we headed downhill, and I found myself forgetting that the Gorgon was one of the most dangerous creatures since...ever, I supposed.

"I was wondering if you could tell me a bit more about you guys...I mean, those who have been—-" Living? But what if she was dead or undead and she deemed the term politically incorrect? Best to play it safe, so I cleared my throat, saying, "—-staying here in the Underworld."

Those who are kin to the Lord of the Underworld ssstill require his permission to live in the realm. But once given, they may come and go as they please.

"And those who aren't related to him by blood?"

It is a long process for those who of us who are ssstill living.

We came upon a familiar fork in the road while Sssusssan was speaking. With one of its paths leading straight out of the Underworld, I was relieved to see the partridge flapping its wings in the other direction. One exit down at least, which meant the thief had yet to escape or have the vial smuggled out of the realm.

This new path was fairly short, and I didn't even have time to ask the Gorgon another question before I started hearing familiar noises.

Sounds that you'd associate with regular day-to-day life.

And soon enough, a town bustling with activity came into view, and it was nothing like I had ever imagined seeing. Maybe I should have. But I didn't.

This is the town center. It makes sssense that our thief would be here.

I couldn't answer yet, stunned and overwhelmed by the sight of a quaintly charming town...populated by, well, skeletons.

"Are they dead?" I heard myself whisper.

In a way. These are humans who, too afraid to find out if they were bound for Tartarus or the Island of the Blessed, have chosen to ssserve Hades for eternity.

The town had an incredible Venetian feel to it, but more...magical. Think bike-riding skeletons weaving through narrow brick-paved alleys, gondolas cruising under stone bridges, and canal houses overlooking the Underworld's secret rainbow-colored river.


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