Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 129460 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 432(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129460 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 432(@300wpm)
“Does that matter? We heard you wanted one. We had one, so we’re gifting it to you.”
It is obvious Jack can’t see past his own pain to understand others when he asks, “For how much?”
“I’m not here seeking a payout. It is a gift, so accept it as one.” Needing to leave before I say too much, I head for the door. I’m almost in the clear when the niggle that’s been gnawing away at my chest the past three months can’t be denied for a second longer. “Can I ask one question before I leave?”
Jack nods, assuming it will be an easy answer.
I have news for him.
“How can you blame Octavia for what happened to you? How could you even insinuate she’s anything like him? If it weren’t for her, he’d probably still be doing what he did to you to God knows how many other children.”
Octavia’s bravery shed light on a travesty that had been occurring for decades. She forced the hierarchies to listen, and in turn, she saved thousands of children. Not just from our grandfather but from many other sexual predators as well. The operation Santiago mentioned that followed our grandfather’s arrest was mammoth. It is still ongoing today. That is how Jake got out before the damage was irreversible.
As much as I hate to admit this, Santiago didn’t lie when he said the church freed Jake from further abuse. The priest at the church he entered spotted the signs, and he put steps in place to get him out of that situation.
The church saved him, and that is as shocking for me to admit as it is for Jack to consider how Octavia’s involvement in his life commenced much earlier than when they met months ago.
“What do you mean?” He sounds more confused than angry. “What does Octavia have to do with ending his reign? I took him down. I had him convicted!”
“After she whistle blew on him.” With one confession comes another and another and another. “Octavia knows about your scars because she walked in on him. She missed the bus home from school and was told to go to the church to wait for her mother to collect her. She saw what he was doing to do you, but instead of hiding it as I had for years, she spoke out. She stopped him.”
An emotion I haven’t felt for years floods out of me when I confess, “And she was fucking hated for it. Her dad called her a liar. The police who came to take her statement said she must have misunderstood what she saw, and the people she grew up admiring spat at her feet when they arrived to arrest our grandfather during an afternoon sermon. She was fucking ten, Jack. Ten! Yet she stood up to him as I wished I had years earlier. She never once folded. Not on the stand. Not after her father begged her. She fought for you…”
She fought for me like Jess did months ago, even with my opponents being members of her family.
“She fought for us even with her having nothing to gain from it. Yet you blame her. You act as if she abused you when if it weren’t for her, he would still be abusing you now.”
As he still is me now.
“You’re a fool, Jack. You are an absolute fucking fool.”
I’m placing the blame on him when it should be on me. I’ve done everything he has done. The hiding behind the shame. The blaming on the wrong perpetrators. The ignoring the love of my life because of something she didn’t do.
I am no better than him, but since it is easier to fix someone than it is to fix yourself, I act like it is all his fault. “You could have let the abuse stop, you could have ended it on that altar eighteen years ago, but you didn’t. You’re still letting him paint you as a victim now.”
My words shunt me back to his church, back to his slimy, cold hands, but instead of them freezing my legs like they have for years, they get them moving.
They save me from him.
“I’m not doing it anymore.” I sprint for the door, running as I should have the first time my grandfather inappropriately touched me. “I’m not being his victim anymore.”
Although more than ever, I want to be selfish, a real man would still attempt to save someone drowning even if they can’t swim, so I turn around to face Jack. “You have the chance to do the same. She’d still forgive, but I don’t know how long that will last. She’s stronger now than she was when she met you. She knows what she deserves. You’ve just got to decide if you deserve her.” I stare at a man who can afford to have everything but chooses to have nothing of value while saying, “As you stand before me now, I don’t think you have it in you. But what do I know? I’m a man who ignored the love of his life for years, so I’m probably not the best man to give relationship advice.”