Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 107687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
For real, though, everything about her awakens that naughty, inappropriate part of me. Also, parts of me I didn’t even know could be awakened, and I don’t know how much longer I can be fearful of them. How much longer I can fight them. I wasn’t just blowing smoke up her ass when I said no one would ever touch her or hurt her again. I know what that entails, I know what those words mean, and there is no real reason for her to be scared. I should just embrace the truth.
The truth being, I’ve fallen deeply in love with her.
I want to say it was the moment I met her, because that would be one hell of a love story with her trying to kill me and then taking out my Xbox, but I know that wasn’t it. Yeah, I was completely taken with her and wanted her, but for me, I think the moment was the day on that treadmill. When her face was flushed and that little smirk sat on her lips. Or maybe it was when we kissed at the wedding. The way she looked up at me with such trust in her eyes. I don’t know when exactly, but I know the truth. I think I knew the truth when I tried to walk away like a dumbass. Hell, my parents saw it at Stella and Wes’s wedding, called me on it, but I tried to ignore it because of what loving her will mean for me.
That no one, nothing, or even my own damn self will keep me from her.
When my game starts again, I reposition my hand back on the controller just as she asks, “Why is your heart beating so hard?”
I hadn’t even realized it was. I’ve just accepted that’s how my heart acts around her. Fast, hard, and wildly out of control. I swallow, knowing the real reason is owning what I feel. I look down to find her watching me, and the lump that forms in my throat chokes the fuck out of me. Do I tell her? Does she love me? Is it too early? Am I rushing things? Man, I really should have had a few relationships before I got scooped up by this striking, golden-eyed goddess.
“I like lying like this,” I say, my voice rough. “And you’re extremely gorgeous when you read.”
Her eyes darken as she props her chin in her hand, looking up at me from under her long lashes. “I’m not hurting you?”
“Not even in the slightest,” I answer her, taking her hip in my hand. “Don’t move an inch, okay?”
“Okay,” she says, a smile playing on those lips. “Not that I wanted to anyway.”
I take my controller, nodding as I say, “Good girl.”
I feel her laughter rumbling against my stomach, causing me to curl my toes. I want to throw my damn controller aside to take her right here. I don’t know if that’s a good idea, though. I worry I’ve demanded way too much already of her sweet pussy. I don’t want to break it or hurt her more than I already have. That would be tragic.
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
I hadn’t even thought about tomorrow. The roster will be cut down by more than half, the next cut before Owen and Angela’s wedding. “Not at all.”
“You shouldn’t be, in my opinion.”
I smile at that. “The only opinion that matters.”
I sense she wants to say more, but she doesn’t, and I’m thankful for that. I don’t want to worry about hockey right now or even think about it. I want to lie here, in my perfect oasis with Austen, and believe everything will be fine. It has to be, honestly. I won’t accept anything else. As I play, though, something nags at me. I look down at her. “Does your grandpa know about the cult shit?”
She meets my gaze. “Yeah, he tried to save my mother from it, but my father really brainwashed her into believing what they said.”
I shake my head, not sure why anyone would subject themselves or, better yet, their children to that. “She didn’t want better for you guys?”
“I don’t know,” she says, and the pain is apparent in her voice. “I would talk about that a lot with my therapist because I didn’t understand how my mother could hold me down to be assaulted just to get in the good graces of the Grandmaster.”
My throat burns with anger as I hold her gaze.
“But she did the same to Louisa and Eliza. They were actually subjected to a lot more than I was. Louisa was forced to marry one of them, and he would tear her apart.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“Yeah, and she actually didn’t leave for a long time because Clara was still there, and we worried for her.”
Wow. My heart aches for these girls. “It’s crazy, because I assumed someone who experienced that kind of trauma would never want to even speak to anyone, but all of you are so lively.”