Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 68066 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68066 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
“Bullshit! You’re so full of shit! You want to hear what’s going on, Nancy Drew?! You want to know how long she’s been losing her shit? How she would forget her keys, her cellphone, her purse... how it started off with small things that became bigger things? Little by little, she started forgetting football games, parent-teacher conferences... dinners, meetings, dates with my dad! How we thought it was only cuz she was overwhelmed? How maybe if we would have got her checked out sooner, they could have done something? How we let it go on for an entire year when my dad is a fuckin’ doctor? Tell me, Harley! Am I telling you everything you wanted to know?!”
“I’m not the enemy, Jackson! I’m here for you!”
“The fuck you aren’t! You’re always the enemy!”
I tried to get up. “Can you just let me—”
He loomed over me, knockin’ me back down. “Did you know that my parents were trying to have the baby girl they always wanted? Did you know that maybe that could have triggered something in her mind to lose it? Huh? Tell me, smarty pants! Since you’re so smart!”
I rapidly shook my head. “I didn’t know that!”
His hatred-filled eyes deepened while he panted profusely, his body shaking.
“I’m sorry, Jackson! I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed, my own eyes brewin’ with tears.
He’d never seen me cry. Ever, but there was no controllin’ it. I’d never wanted to cry more in my life than I did in that moment with him.
Showin’ him my pain.
My grief.
My support for him.
Tears slid down the sides of my face as his began to fall too. I’d never seen him cry either, only makin’ this way more intense between us.
Slowly, he knelt in front of me. Gettin’ so close to my face, I could feel his breath against my lips when he rasped, “You know she forgot me first? Out of everyone in her life... out of all your family, all her friends... her kids... my mom forgot me first.”
With a stream of fresh tears, I wept, “Your mom loves you more than anythin’ in this world, Jackson.”
He didn’t hesitate in replyin’, “Sometimes... my mom doesn’t even know who I am. And it’s only going to get worse until she forgets me completely.”
I winced, hearin’ him say that was like a knife to my heart.
“The life my dad worked so hard to give her... the one he fought for... to block out all the bad memories of what happened when they were kids in the system. The life they prayed for, with their two sons and a baby girl, in the house with the white fence and red door, surrounded by sunflowers he put in the ground for her... to make her happy, to make her smile, to make her know she was loved... it doesn’t matter now. None of it does. Not his struggle, not their battle to overcome all the bullshit in their way. Because in the end of her short life, she won’t remember any of it, Harley. Not her, not us, no one. You want me to tell you what happens next?”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t say anythin’.
“Her body is going to forget how to work. She won’t be able to walk, to talk, to move... until her heart forgets to beat, her lungs forget to breathe, and her body just shuts down...”
“Jackson...”
“Then, she dies. With nothing. Without even knowing she’s gone and left us all behind. She lived her entire life for nothing, Harley. Do you see? Do you understand now? My mom is going to die, and then I have to spend the rest of my life wondering... waiting for the time, for the year, for the day... I’ll forget everything too.”
I sucked in my lips, tryin’ to keep it together for him. But I couldn’t help myself, I threw my arms around his neck.
Needin’ him to feel my warmth.
My comfort.
My love?
It was all so confusin’. I hated him, but in that moment, it didn’t feel that way.
All I could say was, “I’m so sorry, Jackson. I’m so very sorry.”
He tensed in my arms, but I didn’t care. I hugged him harder, tighter, showin’ him I was there.
For him.
That I’d always be there for him.
<>Jackson<>
I let her hold me.
Hug me.
Be there for me...
Until I couldn’t breathe. Her close presence suffocated me.
“Get off,” I finally gritted through a clenched jaw.
“Jackson, please—”
“I said, get off me!”
She jumped with her arms still around my neck.
Of course, she didn’t listen.
She never fuckin’ listened.
I grabbed ahold of her wrists, tearing her off my body.
Looking into her eyes, I bit, “You got what you came for. Now leave before I make you.”
“Jackson—”
I. Kissed. Her.
My lips smashed right into hers. I did it to shut her up. To silence her.
Right? I kissed her to make her be quiet?