Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 112951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
She loved him while he enjoyed her presence.
I couldn’t get over those words. They were on repeat in my mind.
Shit.
Was that how he and I were?
I loved him. I think I had loved him from the beginning, even from the first day I walked into that class.
I reached over and clasped her hands with mine. “I’m sorry.”
She laughed again, sniffling, and squeezed my hands back. “What for? Shay cares about you.”
I nodded. He did.
“And I’m with Cameron now. I love him. I really do.”
She didn’t. I could see that in her eyes, too. She loved him because he cared back, but it wasn’t the real gut-wrenching type of love, the kind she felt for Shay.
My chest was so damned tight. I had to change the topic, or lighten it somehow. I was starting not to be able to breathe.
“I met Cameron’s sister last night.”
“Yeah.” She smiled, letting out a deep breath. “That’s why I’m here. I was just visiting with her a little bit. Cameron goes to school an hour away, so he comes up every now and then, but he doesn’t always see his little sister. The two should connect more. It’s always weird with them. I don’t get it.”
A faraway look came over her before her eyes focused on me again. “I was sorry to hear you moved dorms. I enjoyed our random hellos.”
I frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop and talk more.”
“Oh.” She waved that off before going back to smoothing out the bottom of her shirt. “I know what it’s like. I was usually studying.”
“You had my back with Shay once.”
“Yeah.” She touched my knee, a soft reassuring touch. “I can see you’re worried about something, but you don’t have to be. Your relationship with Shay isn’t what I had with him. I already know that. If I’d been attacked, Shay would’ve comforted me. That’s it. He would’ve been there for me to cry on his shoulder, and he would’ve been the doting and supportive boyfriend, and everyone would’ve thought how perfect he was being. But he wouldn’t have done what he did for you. He really cares about you.”
She said cares. Even she couldn’t say he loved me.
I forced a smile, feeling a burning sensation in my chest. “You’re right. I really care about him, too.”
“See.” Her smile grew. “I might be seeing you a bit more here than I did in the other dorm. I come over to see Phoebe a lot.” She stood, and we made our way back to the main front entrance. Her step was a little lighter, and she spoke a bit more freely. “Now, if she wants to see me is a different story. I think she’s lonely. I don’t want her to feel that way. Sometimes she lets me stay. Sometimes she doesn’t.”
She waved a goodbye, saying she’d see me later.
I was rooted in place. Again.
She was a good person. She was beautiful on the inside and outside, and it hit me. If Shay hadn’t loved someone like her, what chance did I have?
“What’s going on with you?” Shay asked me later that night. We were studying in his room. He was at his desk while I was stretched out on his bed. We were both dressed in lounging clothes. He had on a shirt and sweatpants, but I went the boy-shorts route. They were hidden underneath a large sweater that hung on me like a dress.
After talking to Sabrina, I tried to shake my insecurities off.
Shay wasn’t Parker.
I wasn’t going to become Sabrina.
Right?
I kept trying to reassure myself, but it was useless. For whatever reason—maybe the fact that I admitted to myself I was falling for him—my irrational sense of doom hung over me like a storm cloud. I couldn’t shake it, and seeing the puzzled look on Shay’s gorgeous face, I thought, fuck it.
I sat up, crossing my legs over each other. I faced him squarely from the bed. “Are you going to hurt me?”
His eyes widened. He’d been holding a pen in his hand, but it dropped to the floor. “What? Where did that come from?”
“You heard me.”
I was watching.
I was waiting.
But no reaction, other than his shock. I didn’t see any flicker of guilt in his eyes, and I instantly felt stupid. I needed to get a handle on my issues. “Nothing.” I dropped back to the bed with a sigh, letting my textbook fall to the side. “I’m being a girl.”
“Whoa. What’s going on?”
I heard the desk squeak. Shay came into view as he stood over me, frowning down at me. He folded his arms over his chest, and I tried not to gawk at how that defined his already spectacular chest, shoulders, and arm muscles.
I failed.
I was pretty sure I felt a little drool, but I wiped it away and scooted so I was sitting back against the wall facing him. He sat next to me, his hand on my leg.