Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 107667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
“Miss you, but let me let you go. Troy is finally done with his client, and we’re heading out.”
“Troy? How’s that going?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s nothing, Daddy. We’re just friends.”
“Mmm-hmm,” he draws out. “Momma said you were dating.”
“Hardly. We’re getting to know each other. That’s all.”
Considering the last time I slept with someone before knowing anything about them, I caught feelings I didn’t know I could.
“Well, make sure he looks good in orange, or I won’t like him.”
I laugh at that, shaking my head. “Bye, Daddy. Love you.”
“Love you, darling.”
I hang up as I stand, my grin still in place, and Troy comes to a stop in front of me. He’s my height, and while he smells wonderful, it’s not the spiciness that I find I miss. “I like it when you smile like that.”
I sigh deeply as I meet his mossy gaze, ignoring his comment. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” he says, grabbing my bag for me. “Are we doing dinner tonight?”
I swallow and force myself to nod. “Sure. Where do you want to go?”
He holds the door for me as I go through it, and then he falls into step with me. “I was thinking I could cook for you. At my house.”
My heart constricts in my chest. My mind tells me to say yes, but that heart of mine can’t do it. I know I should pull the trigger and enter into whatever this is, but I can’t. I know why, but giving it a voice means I really did ghost him. Even if it was out of fear, it may be the biggest regret of my life.
When Troy steps in front of me, I almost run into him, my eyes widening in confusion. “Whoa.”
His mossy eyes are dark as he looks into my eyes. He’s not a big guy, but he’s a good guy. Another fucking nice guy. “Tennessee, tell me something.” I’d rather not, but instead, I press my lips together as he asks, “What are we doing?”
I swallow as I gaze into his eyes. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
“I feel like there is something here,” he says.
I mean, I sense it, but I don’t know how to allow myself to feel it.
“I like you—a lot.” He reaches out, cupping my cheek in his hand. “I find you incredibly gorgeous and so damn smart it makes me wild. I love coming to work because I know I’ll see you.”
I don’t know what to say to him. I do care for him; he’s been so nice to me since I moved here. He’s always there for a laugh, we work out together, and he’s shown me around. We work great together, and we go to sports games together.
The problem is, I want what Dart did for me. I want that all-consuming feeling. But how can I have that when Dart is in South Carolina and I’m here?
While Dart is nowhere near me, Troy is right here, looking at me.
“I enjoy your company a lot,” I tell him. “I just don’t know if I’m emotionally available right now. I’m still adjusting to all these life changes I’ve made.”
And because, emotionally, I’m still in Nashville.
He searches my gaze, and I don’t like how he only looks at one of my eyes. I know that’s silly, but I feel like he doesn’t even see my other eye, which makes me feel like a freak. I look away and blow out a breath.
“Maybe if we take this to the next level, you’ll find you are emotionally available.”
I meet his gaze again and sigh deeply. It all sounds like a good idea; it all sounds like he could be onto something, but deep inside, I know he’s missing a bunch of tattoos. He doesn’t have dark-blond hair and blue eyes that stop me dead in my tracks. He doesn’t have the word “Sunshine” along his neck and a badass dragon covering his back. He doesn’t call me baby doll, and I bet if he called me a greedy girl, I wouldn’t come at the sound. No, his voice is missing a lot of the depth that only Dart had.
But I ghosted him. I didn’t respond. I didn’t try, and that’s on me. I know the truth, though. I knew that I would fall so deeply for him that nothing would ever matter. I wouldn’t have taken this job, I would have gone wherever the hell he is, and I would have given my whole self to him. I wouldn’t have done what I needed to do. Found out who I am. That’s what these last couple months have been, and it’s refreshing to know I wasn’t faking it.
I am spunky, loud, smart, and I am beautiful. Yeah, I’m thick, but it doesn’t matter because it’s who I am. Here in Virginia, I have drawn so much attention from guys, and I wish that Josie could see it. That it doesn’t matter about my size—it matters who I am, and I’m awesome. I no longer look tired and unsure of myself. I look and feel the confidence I knew I had inside me. I am doing what I love and what I needed to, but my heart yearns for that night in Nashville.