Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 70518 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70518 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
“This is amazing, Luce,” Sawyer said.
“Thanks.”
He’d eaten more tonight than I’d seen him eat since I arrived last week. And he and Kon had talked hockey while I finished cooking earlier, the sound of them laughing together making me content.
I was so full from dinner that I was very slowly eating my dessert. My eyes met Kon’s across the table, his gaze dark and intense even now. If I didn’t know he was such a nice guy, that gaze would have intimidated me. I thought I saw fearlessness and strength there, a calm that could turn into a storm when needed.
Glancing down, I was flooded with self-doubt. I no longer trusted myself to judge someone’s character after I’d so completely misjudged Nate.
I’d fallen for his trusted hometown insurance agent persona just like so many other people had. As his office manager and girlfriend, though, I should have figured out sooner that he wasn’t who he was pretending to be. That mistake had been a costly one.
“Do you like the wine?” Kon asked me.
“Yes, it’s very good.”
I’d only drank one glass because I wasn’t a heavy drinker. And as Sawyer had predicted, Kon hadn’t had any. He’d gotten a glass of water from the sink before dinner and refused Sawyer’s offers of beer and whiskey.
“Now we can get into the good stuff,” Sawyer said, grinning. “You want to try some Russian whiskey, Luce?”
I shook my head. “This glass of wine was enough for me, but thanks. I’m going to clean up.”
Sawyer had been more like himself today than I’d seen him in a long time. He’d taken a shower after going to the store and gone through his ginormous stack of mail. He and Kon and I had talked and laughed over dinner. I hated that he planned to drown his sorrows in alcohol again.
“No, not for me,” Kon said as I carried my dessert plate over to the sink.
My brother balked. “Since when do you say no to whiskey?”
“I have practice in the morning. And you should, too.”
I held my breath as I stood in front of the sink, not daring to look at them. Kon was taking a more direct approach than me, and while I wasn’t sorry about it, I also wasn’t sure how Sawyer would take it.
“I’m not on the team anymore,” he said dismissively.
“You should be,” Kon said. “We need you.”
“Pfft. You guys have plenty of young bucks.”
Kon came over to the sink, where he put his dishes on the counter.
“We need experience,” he said, turning to face Sawyer.
I couldn’t help turning, too, so I could try to read the emotions on my brother’s face. He was looking down at the table, lost in his own thoughts. Kon and I stayed still, both of us seeming to understand that Sawyer needed us not to talk right now, but to listen.
“I lost my reason,” he finally said, gutting me. “It’s no secret. Hockey’s hard on your body and your mind, but I played for Annie. For our life together. For the kids we planned to have, so they could go to good colleges and we could…” He sighed and shrugged. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.”
It was all I could do not to break down in tears and run over to hug him. Kon remained in place, though, and I did, too. I couldn’t cry and mourn with Sawyer forever; at some point, he had to find new reasons to get up in the morning and live.
“I do not have a family,” Kon said. “Only my elderly grandmother back in Russia, and she refuses to take any more money from me.” A small smile played on his lips, telling me he was very fond of her. “I play for…proud.” He glanced at me, his brow furrowed. “Was that the right word?”
“Pride,” I said softly. “But you were really close.”
“Pride,” he said, turning to look at Sawyer again. “I play because so many want to and never get to. Where I am from, playing a game for millions of dollars is a dream. I play so children in Russia know that they can play if they work hard.”
Sawyer nodded. “I know, man, and I think you’re a rock star. But I don’t think I can go back.”
I cleared my throat. “It might be nice to have something to focus your energy on, you know?”
“I’ve let myself go. I’d have to work my ass off to even have a chance at going back, but I don’t think I’d be doing the team any favors. I’m not the player I used to be.”
With that, he stood up and brought his plate over. “So that means more whiskey for me, I guess. You need help cleaning up, Luce?”
My heart sank. “No, I’ve got it.”
He left the room, Kon staying behind and silently helping me clear the table.