Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Luke stroked him, gently at first, and then with more friction as Jack stiffened in his hand. Within minutes he knew he was going to come. He didn’t want to ejaculate in his pants, in Luke’s hand. “Luke, stop, I’m going to—”
“I want you to,” Luke cut him off, his fingers drawing Jack past the edge of resistance. “Come on, you know you want it. We both want it. Don’t fight it. Be honest with yourself for once in your life.”
“Luke, stop…” Jack’s protest weakened as Luke tightened his grip, relentlessly pulling and stroking Jack’s stiff shaft.
All at once he came in Luke’s hand, gasping as he shuddered with release. He fell back against the sofa, trying to catch his breath. What the hell had just happened? What the goddamned hell had just happened between him and his best friend? Between him and another guy?
Now that he’d orgasmed, his reason was no longer so clouded by lust and he began to recoil in shock. Luke was watching him with narrowed eyes, his own cock still bulging in his shorts.
“Do it for me,” Luke whispered urgently. “Make me come too.” He grabbed Jack’s hand and pressed it against his erection. Jack pulled it away. He didn’t feel drunk anymore. He felt ashamed.
“Luke, no. I can’t.”
“Sure you can. It’s easy. Come on. I did you. Do me. There’s nothing wrong with it. There’s nothing wrong with the way we feel about each other.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We don’t feel any way about each other. We’re friends. Buddies. That’s all we’ve ever been. I don’t know what the hell just happened but it sure wasn’t something I planned.”
Luke held his a gaze a moment and then looked sharply away, his face flushing crimson. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t seem to mind so much when my hand was on your dick.” His voice came out a sneer though even then Jack knew it was to hide the pain of his rejection. Hotly, he continued, “You’re in denial, Jack. You’ve always been in denial about us. I thought once we were older, especially now that we’re about to get the fuck out of this town, we could be honest with each other and with ourselves. I guess I was stupid to think that. You’re as repressed and hung up as all the other assholes.”
Deeply stung, Jack retorted, “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. We’re both dating girls. Now suddenly we’re supposed to be gay lovers? I don’t think so.”
“Get out. Go. Just leave me alone.” Luke’s voice was hard, his eyes bright with unshed tears. Jack knew at that moment they could never be friends again. With a heavy heart and a confused mind he left Luke’s house.
He never told anyone what happened.
The next night he’d gone all the way with Emma, mostly, he knew now, to prove to himself he was straight. Unfortunately, though he’d pulled out and she’d assured him it was the wrong time of the month, once was enough to get her pregnant.
The course of his life was set in that instant. He did the right thing, or what had seemed like the right thing at the time.
Luke avoided him the last month of school and left for Europe after his last exam, not even staying for graduation. That was the last he’d seen of him.
He managed to put Luke from his mind, blotting out the entire incident for days at a time. He was straight, he was getting married, he was going to be a father. As his own father crudely pointed out to him when he’d confessed Emma was pregnant, he’d made his choice with his dick and now he’d pay the price for the rest of his life.
Jack had been raised to believe men were strong. They handled what life hurled at them with stoicism and fortitude. Whatever came their way, they sucked it up and dealt with it. Feelings didn’t enter into it. Real men were never prey to fear or anxiety. Nor did they have desires, longings, passions or needs.
What a crock of shit that had turned out to be. What a lie. It took raising his own boys to realize just how stultifying and stunting such a macho attitude could be. At least with his sons, he’d encouraged them to express themselves honestly. He never told them big boys don’t cry, as his parents had drilled into him when he was little, defenseless and scared.
Jack inhaled the sweet scent of sawdust and sighed. A single tear trickled down his cheek. Yes, he’d paid the price for that one night. He’d paid it a thousand times over. Yet it hadn’t been a bad life. They’d raised two wonderful sons. Emma and he had been happy in their way. No, there had never been fireworks. His heart had never pounded as it had when Luke had kissed him. But he’d done the right thing.