Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Will felt as if someone had attached lead weights to his body. He could hardly move, overcome with the sinking feel he’d ruined everything. If only he could read Jack better. If only he had the balls to be direct, to take what he wanted, what maybe Jack wanted too.
Stiffly, Jack thrust out his hand. Will gripped the offered hand, wishing somehow everything he was feeling could be magically imparted through touch. He held on too long and Jack pulled away.
Trying to keep his voice light and neutral, Will said, “I had a great time, Jack. Thank you—for everything.”
“Yeah. Me too. Catch you later.”
~*~
Though it was well after midnight, Jack sat up in his workroom, wood shavings piled around him as he worked on the curving leg of a rocking chair he’d been building. The process of working the wood with his tools relaxed him, as it always did. It was more than an act of creation—it was a kind of meditation. He’d done some of his best thinking while working with a chisel and a lathe.
He had driven home carefully, deliberately going ten miles below the speed limit so no cop would be tempted to stop him. He could still barely believe he’d had the nerve to make that long-winded speech about how much he liked Will and liked being with him.
Even while he was blathering on, he knew he should shut up but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. What had he expected Will to say? To do? What had he hoped for? He honestly didn’t know.
He hadn’t expected Will’s rather abrupt dismissal. He felt first let down, and then humiliated and embarrassed by what seemed like a rejection, or at the very least a rebuff. Whatever strange heat he imagined had been building between them had cooled. Had it only been one-sided? Just because he’d confirmed Will was gay, had he then gone on to incorrectly assume Will was somehow interested in him?
Jack laughed bitterly. Why would a handsome young guy like that be interested in him? He’d obviously been drunker than he’d thought, and misread whatever cues Will had been sending.
He was lucky Will had nipped whatever had been going on in the bud. He’d made the right decision for them both. Whatever he was feeling, he wasn’t yet ready to confront it, especially not in front of Will.
Jack set his woodworking tools down and lay on the floor in the middle of the sawdust and wood scraps. He stared up at the ceiling, seeing a face from long ago.
His mind veered, as it had often done lately, back to that fateful night. He picked up the thread of his recollection from the week before, and realized now with a flash of clarity it was Will’s presence in his life that had rekindled the memories of Luke, even before he’d been aware of their mutual attraction.
Then, as tonight, Luke and he had both had plenty to drink. Emma and Jack were still virgins. They did engage in some heavy petting, and, though he would have been mortified to admit it, he’d come in his pants more than once while they’d kissed and fumbled beneath their clothing, parked along the side of the road in his parents’ car after a night at the movies.
That night Luke and Jack talked about girls, love, life and their futures, the beer loosening their speech and lowering their inhibitions. When Luke put his hand on Jack’s thigh it was almost like the world held its breath, waiting to see which direction Jack would take.
Jack wondered how different his life might have been if he’d rebuffed Luke. If he’d pushed him away from the start, before things went too far. Then Jack wouldn’t have had anything to prove.
But he hadn’t.
I want to explore all kinds of things. Luke’s meaning became clear as he gently squeezed his best friend’s leg. It was late May and they were both wearing shorts. Luke’s hand on his leg was warm, his fingers stroking Jack’s skin.
Jack’s cock responded before the rest of him did as he locked eyes with the green-eyed boy who had been his best friend and closest confidant for so many years. When Luke leaned forward, parting his lips, Jack had moved forward as well.
When they kissed he’d thought his heart might actually thump right through his chest, it was beating so hard. He knew he wasn’t gay—he knew Luke wasn’t either. And yet the kiss felt so right, so good.
Unlike Emma, who kissed eagerly, almost sloppily, Luke took his time, teasing Jack with his tongue, drawing it seductively over Jack’s lips before slipping its tip between them. He held Jack’s face, cradled in his hands as he suckled and tasted Jack’s mouth.
Jack touched his lips, even now recalling the heat of that kiss. He hadn’t protested as Luke pulled at his shorts, reaching past the waistband to find his rising cock. Emma had touched him like this too, but her grip had been clumsy and unsure. Jack leaned back, telling himself they were drunk and would forget this. He let Luke fondle and massage him. It felt good. Better than good.