Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
He shook his head and said, “I’m not saying that right. What I mean is, when you’re around I somehow feel calmer. I tend to hold things too tight inside myself. I let stuff get sort of balled up and it eats at me. That’s why I had to take a break from the work I was doing on Wall Street. I was letting it eat me up inside. But for some reason when you’re around, that tension inside me eases. I feel a kindred connection, something between us that sometimes, when my guard is down, I imagine you feel too. I have this crazy idea maybe we could explore it—together.”
Jack stared at Will, completely at a loss for words. Will took a deep breath and blew it out. “Fuck. I wasn’t going to do that. I’m such a jerk.” He held his glass aloft. “I guess I had too much to drink too. You probably want to go now.”
“No. I want to stay.”
Every silent signal emanating from Jack seemed to say, “Kiss me.” He was staring at Will with those intense, brooding eyes of his, his lips pressed tightly together, his hands twisting in his lap. Will was reminded suddenly of his first kiss with one Jane Cuthbert, when he was nine years old.
Every summer Will’s father hauled them out of the city to a stay in a cottage in the Hamptons. That particular summer his father had helped him build, or more accurately had built a tree house for Will while he handed him tools and nails. It was really just a conglomeration of wood planks and two-by-fours but to his nine-year-old eyes it was a wonderful, secret lair in which he passed many happy hours.
Ten-year-old Jane, whose family rented the cottage next door, invited herself up but Will didn’t mind. He was proud of his tree house and happy to show it off, even to a girl.
“Do you want to kiss me?” Jane asked. She was a pretty girl, with long blonde braids framing a pixie face.
“Sure.” Why not? They were sitting cross-legged facing one another, Will’s pile of comic books between them. He leaned forward and she screwed up her eyes and pursed her lips in an exaggerated gesture. When his lips touched hers, she twisted her head violently away.
“You don’t want to?” Will asked, confused.
“I want to. I’m just scared. It’s my first time, you see.”
“Mine too.” Will shrugged. What was the big deal about touching lips anyway? He tried again and this time she stayed still. After a moment he pulled back and she opened her eyes and grinned at him.
“Now we’re boyfriend and girlfriend.” She was triumphant.
“Whatever.” He was noncommittal.
Will wondered if Jack would turn away if he tried to kiss him. I want to. I’m just scared.
Will hadn’t really been sure what he hoped to accomplish by inviting Jack back to his place. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. A part of him, the wishful thinking totally unrealistic part of him, held some kind of fantasy that upon entering the house, Jack would press Will against the front door and pull at his clothing, desperately kissing his mouth as he fumbled with the zipper of Will’s jeans. They would slide together to the floor, pulling off each other’s clothes in their rush to feel the naked press of flesh against flesh.
The saner part of him thought maybe they could talk. Perhaps, his inhibition lowered a bit by alcohol, Jack might not be offended if Will probed a little, if he tried to gauge if there was the slightest chance of anything happening between them.
He hadn’t bolted just now, so that was a good sign. He had been honest, and said he didn’t know what he wanted. While that was hardly a declaration of love, or even interest, at least it wasn’t an outright rejection.
“Would you like to go outside? It’s such a nice night. We could sit on the deck.”
Jack stood quickly. “That’s a good idea. Yes, some fresh air would be good.” He followed Will to the kitchen and out the back door, Will carrying his snifter, Jack his coffee mug. They stood for a moment, looking up at the sky sparkling with stars. Will stared up into the clear spring night. He still wasn’t used to seeing so many stars, having grown up in the city.
“It’s like someone threw a bucket of diamonds up there. I know that’s cliché, but that’s what it looks like.”
“Twinkle, twinkle, little star,” Jack said with a grin. Will was relieved the tension between them had eased.
They sat side by side on two cushioned reclining chairs set on the edge of the deck, a small table between them. Jack leaned back and looked up, pointing. “See that? There’s Orion’s Belt, those three bright stars in a row.”