Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I’m tired,” Josh whispered.
“Go to sleep, baby. I’m here. I got you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” A world of vulnerability hid in that one word. Josh, who came off as so confident, so completely together, was just as scared as the rest of us. People were so damn fragile in some ways, yet strong as steel in others. It was what made us human.
“Yeah. I promise.” I kissed the top of his head and held him, took care of him, the way he took care of me too. The way we always would. Together.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Josh
“Hey, man. How’s it going?” Chase asked when I arrived at their house the next morning. He was heading out with Bowie, I figured to give Kellan and me space.
“Good. You?”
“Doing good, brother.” Chase nodded. “I’m happy for you. You and Griff. In the strangest way, it makes sense. I don’t know what happened in your past, but you did good. It’s not always easy to get over what’s happened to us. If there’s anyone who knows that, it’s me.” He was talking about his dad, I was sure of it. “But those damn Caine brothers…they make us want to, don’t they?”
I smiled, feeling the connection between Chase and me deepen. We both knew what it was like to be best friends with one Caine brother and in love with the other one. They were irresistible and incredible in every way. “Yeah, they really do.”
Chase clapped me on the shoulder before he and Bowie went down the stairs and to his truck.
I waited until he drove away, then raised my hand to knock. The door pulled open before I had the chance, and Kell was there. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, mine enclosing around his waist. I relaxed into him and let out a heavy breath. I’d needed this. I needed Kell. The way he hugged me told me everything was going to be okay.
“I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t made sure you know that since all this went down,” Kellan said close to my ear.
“Hey, I know. I love you too, babe. I never doubted that.” And I hadn’t, not really. Sure, things had been different, but Kellan and I were brothers for life.
There were still important things we had to discuss, though, things I should have told him a long time ago.
He nodded and let me go. The two of us went to the couch and sat down. Kell pulled his legs up, feet on the cushion and arms around his legs.
“I have to talk to you about a few things.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t. If you want to, I’m here, but you don’t have to.”
“I want to.” Doug deserved that. He deserved to be talked about, for his story to go on.
“Then I want to hear.”
Kellan sat quietly as I told him about my first best friend, about the first boy I’d ever loved. He cried as I spoke but didn’t interrupt. He let me get it all out before he said, “Good God, Josh. I can’t believe you’ve been holding that in all this time.”
“It’s not personal. I hope you don’t think that’s why I didn’t tell you. I just… I couldn’t.”
“But you told Griffin?”
“Yeah, I did.”
Kellan smiled. “Good. That’s good. I’m glad you had him.”
I was lucky to have him. The Caines were really something special.
“I know you, and I know how you take responsibility for those you love—kind of like my brother, if I’m being honest. It’s not your fault; what happened with Doug isn’t your fault. You know that, don’t you?”
I hadn’t. Not for a long time, but that was changing. It had already changed, or at least I was getting there. “I know that now. I made a promise to him, didn’t think I deserved to move on, but Griff…man, there was no denying that. He’s it for me, Kell. He makes me… It’s like everything is settled inside me when I’m with him, and I didn’t even know it was chaos in there before Griff. But it was, and he settles it.”
“That’s how I’ve always felt about Chase. It’s scary as fuck, but also the most incredible thing, right?”
I chuckled. “No shit.”
“I’m sorry…I know I’ve been weird lately. I don’t know why this hit me the way it did. I just…”
“You love your brother.”
“Yeah, but I love you too.”
“I know, babe.”
I kissed the top of his head, and Kellan nuzzled against my side. “I can’t believe you’re boning my brother. Now we can’t ever talk about sex again.”
I laughed because it was so damn Kellan. He was crazy. It had always been my favorite thing about him. “Shit, man, there’d be a lot to tell too. He’s fucking—”
“No!” Kellan plugged his fingers in his ears. “Lalalalalala!” he said loudly.
“Just remember that when you talk about you and Chase. That’s how Griff has felt this whole time.”