Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“Sorry.”
“It’s cool. You couldn’t have known.” More silence. Then, “You? Have you ever been serious about anyone?”
Griff’s voice was soft, hardly audible when he replied, “No…never.”
I was pretty sure we both knew that was enough for the night. This time, we rolled over, facing each other, and went to sleep.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Griffin
I woke up around dawn again. I’d been doing that lately, sometimes even when I was at the bar until late. Josh had changed positions. He was on his stomach, with his arm bent, elbow toward me, his head resting on his hand. His leg was curved the same way, his knee like an arrow at me, his face my way, brown hair messy and sticking up at the ends.
He looked so serene when he slept. It wasn’t that Josh didn’t seem peaceful in other circumstances, but he always had this air of expectation about him, like he was waiting or looking for the next thing. Not when it came to his friendships, work, or things like that, but maybe as if he couldn’t slow down or something would catch up to him. Like he had demons following him around that he was trying to outrun.
“Ah, hell,” I said softly to myself. Now I was a therapist?
His eyes fluttered open. I knew I hadn’t spoken loud enough for him to wake up, and when a mischievous grin tugged at his lips, I knew I wouldn’t like what he said next.
“You really do think I’m pretty, don’t you? You looked your fill?”
“You wish.” I rolled over and got out of bed.
“We doing the thing again?” Josh asked rather than acknowledging what I said. He sat up, yawned, and stretched.
“I was going to, but you don’t have to if you’re tired. I know it’s early.”
“Do you want to be alone? If so, I can give you that, but if you don’t mind the company, I’d like to join you.”
The truth was, I did want the company. I liked the idea of Josh meditating with me. What I replied with was, “I’m good either way.”
I went to the bathroom, took care of business, and washed my hands. When I got out, Josh had already laid the blanket on the deck. I went to go outside just as he was coming in. Our bodies brushed against each other as we did, his skin warm and alive, but also with a slight chill from the early morning weather. I shivered, the hairs on my arms standing up, but I didn’t think it had to do with the climate.
Josh said, “I’m gonna, um…piss real quick. Then I’ll be ready.” Damned if his voice didn’t tremble.
I got the playlist going on my cell phone and got into position. Josh was back a few minutes later. We sat beside each other this time. When we bent our legs, our knees touched.
“Shit. Sorry,” he said.
“It’s fine.” Neither of us moved. I tried to breathe and let go of all the shit that was a constant whirlwind in my mind: Kellan, Chase, our parents, sex, the bar, being an uncle, Josh. He was there too, and I could almost see him in my damn head, pushing everyone and everything else out of the way, one by one, working his way to the front.
Asking me on this trip.
Making me breakfast.
Dragging me out of the house in Havenwood to go fishing with him, even when I grumbled and we nitpicked at each other the whole time.
Trying his best to take care of Kell.
Understanding how I felt…a little lonely, a little left behind…
It hit me then, as the music flowed around me and everything faded into the background but Josh, that maybe he’d been lonely longer than he showed the world, that maybe he’d been all along, and he kept trying to fill it with sex and men…then spending random time with me.
My eyes shot open, and I tried to shake those thoughts from my head. A person didn’t have to feel lonely to like hooking up. Part of me wondered if I was trying to project something I wanted to be true, or if it really was. The fact that I did want it to be real opened another can of worms I wanted to seal the fuck back up.
I looked at him again. He had his nipples pierced, a light dusting of hair between his pecs, a flat, muscular belly, cut arms… And why was I studying him this way?
“You’re restless.” Josh put a hand on my leg. I was wearing the shorts I’d brought to sleep in, so the heat of his hand met my flesh. “You good?”
My fingers twitched to place my hand over his, and that made my chest tighten, made it hard to breathe. Yeah, I’d asked a guy to a hotel room months ago, but that had been an experiment gone wrong. It was not the same as having the urge to intertwine my fingers with a man’s for the first time.