Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Their teasing comes from a place of love and not hate, so there’s that. They’re not mocking me for having my tongue down another man’s throat. No, they find it hilarious that I was oblivious to the normalcy of it. Or non-normalcy. I can’t fault them there.
But maybe it should be normalized. Two guys kissing as friends shouldn’t be a huge deal. Because it’s really not.
This … though. I pick up the phone again and stare at the dick some supposedly nice guy sent me. Yeah, this might be a big deal.
It literally had in his profile I’ll treat you nice. He got a simple hi from me, and then bam, there it is. I think we have different definitions of nice.
I tilt my phone and my head at the same time, trying to work out proportions on this thing. Is the hand wrapped around it small, or is it really that big?
I can’t say it’s doing anything for me, and I have no idea what to respond to something like that.
I downloaded the ChatUp app a few days ago, and I still haven’t gotten the hang of it. It hasn’t really given me any answers either.
Apparently I’m immune to dick pics, but yesterday, a guy I was chatting to started talking about sex, and it happened so organically, I didn’t really realize I was sexting until I was touching myself and coming to all the dirty, filthy words filling my screen. Him talking about how he’d pull me on top of him and grip both our cocks together so tight while jerking us both off at the same time and kissing me roughly apparently did it for me.
Afterward, I didn’t really know how to reply to that either. Sounds hot was all I could think of.
Then he offered to meet me and do it in person, and I freaked out and blocked him. It wasn’t because he’s a guy, but because I have no idea what I’m doing. It was too much too soon.
I think before I really try this not straight thing out, I need to get comfortable with the idea first. And I’m comfortable with doing this online-only for now.
I tap my chin, trying to think of a funny response. Okay, here goes nothing.
@confused96: You must be very proud. Congratulations on a beautiful dick.
Yeah, that’s probably not what I should’ve said.
@scottiethehottie: I bet I could tear your hole in two. You go to Colchester, right? I could be there in twenty minutes.
What the fuck?
I mean … what the fuck?
I set up my profile to say I’m from Vermont instead of enabling location services because I’m still in Maine, but I left off any major personal details.
@confused96: What makes you think I go to CU?
@scottiethehottie: Your tattoo.
Aww, shit. I stare down at the stupid tattoo on my hip, right near the groove of my V. Freshman year, the seniors on the hockey team told us we were all getting matching tattoos. Because, you know, school pride. Go Mountain Lions! Only, they all decided not to go through with it. So now I have a mountain lion tattooed on me forever. And no one else does.
Just another way I’m too naïve. I should’ve gone with someone from the team to make sure they were telling the truth.
I click on my profile pic on the dating app. It’s taken from above, so it has my face and abs in it. My face is the main focus. My brown hair is messy in that I woke up five minutes ago and tumbled out of bed kind of way. My beard is in need of a trim. Apparently, this guy bypassed all that. To make out my tattoo in the pic, I have to enlarge it to the point of almost pixelating the crap out of the image.
That’s creepy.
@confused96: That’s a catamount. I go to UVM.
Eww, I feel dirty even saying that. The University of Vermont and Colchester have a running feud that dates back to the founding of our school. I should wash my mouth out with soap. Or chop my fingers off. Even pretending to be in allegiance with that school … No. Just, no.
@scottiethehottie: Even better. I can be at UVM in five. I live off campus.
And block.
I edit my picture to crop out the tattoo and my face, then add to my profile that I go to UVM so none of these guys turn up on my campus looking for me.
No one from CU is stupid enough to say they go to UVM when they don’t. Well, except me.
No shocking revelation there.
Dumb person is dumb.
I understand these apps are mostly used to find hookups, but it seems everyone is impatient to get to the fucking.
Maybe I should join the LGBTQ club Foster used to belong to on campus. Though, that would pretty much scream to everyone that it’s true—I’m not as straight as I thought I was—and I’m not ready to do that.