Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
What the hell is it about me that apparently screams queer?
Nope, not touching that.
Instead, my mind drifts to Richie’s constant job search. He’s frustrated every time he logs in to my laptop, constantly complaining about how there’s nothing out there. I’ve looked too. He’s right.
The closest thing I could find was a New York position, and the thought of him moving so far …
Nope, not thinking about that either.
Tonight is all about first-date vibes.
“So, ah, I guess we should probably decide how we’re going to be tonight,” I say.
“What do you mean?”
“Well …” This isn’t something I’ve ever had to give much thought to with past girlfriends. I adjust my clammy hand on the steering wheel. “This is our first time in public together, so do we keep our distance, hold hands …”
Richie’s forehead creases as he stares out the window, clearly thinking. “Can we play it by ear?”
“Sure.”
It’s not the answer I want, but I know it’s the right one.
My parents might know about us, but I have no idea how quickly I want to burst out of the closet. If Richie and I get serious, telling Zach and Foster will happen soon enough. My friends would eventually find out, and I assume his would too. But there’s a huge difference between my close network of carefully selected people knowing, and complete strangers looking at me and thinking they know.
Besides, it’s Friday night, and Colchester’s Ice Festival is always packed with people. The likelihood we’ll know someone there is high.
It’s already so busy that we end up in a line of cars making their way to the parking lot. The festival is held outside of town, on a large property, and even though it’s been a few years since I’ve been here, I remember it being huge.
We pull up, and I quickly knot my scarf around my neck and tug my beanie over my hair before getting out. The parking lot has been scraped clean of snow, but heavy piles of slush ring the perimeter, and the soft flakes falling from the sky will have this place white again by morning.
Richie stuffs his hands in the pockets of his coat and drops a quick kiss on my already cold cheek. “I think I like this.”
“Wearing clothes?” I joke as we head toward the entrance, even though I know exactly what he means.
“Nah, that part sucks.”
“Better than your dick falling off from frostbite.”
He cringes. “I still can’t believe your parents saw my dick.”
“To be fair, you did a great job distracting them with your rambling.”
“I panicked.”
“I could tell.” I snort back a laugh.
“Are you …” He shoots me a quick look. “Are you okay that happened? Not them walking in on us, but they know now.”
Urg. I’d been really trying not to think about it. “I’m okay. It wasn’t the most ideal coming out, but I guess I got to skip over all that angst of do I tell them? How? When? It just happened.”
“The whole time I was getting dressed, I worried you’d freak and kick me out.”
I’d honestly thought there might have been some of that too. A weird sort of panic that this label I’d always applied to myself was gone, but … “I’m relieved actually. I mean, yeah, they probably think I’m gay, or bi like Foster, and we didn’t talk specific labels, but I don’t think it matters. I don’t really care about who I’m attracted to, only that I find the person most right for me.” In my mind, I’m demi first, and knowing that about myself has lessened all the worries of something not being right with me.
“That’s a cool way to look at it.”
Of course he thinks that. I swear, with Richie, he doesn’t expect me to be anyone other than who I am, and somehow he thinks that guy is worth his time.
I want to hold his hand, but they’re still tucked away in his pockets.
“What about you?” I ask. “Have you thought labels, whether you’ll tell people …”
“I dunno. But wanna hear something dumb?”
“Always.”
“Every time I picture telling the team or my friends or whoever that I’m hooking up with a guy, all I can picture is their stupid smug faces, the I told you so’s and the ribbing over being oblivious, and it sort of makes me want to keep it to myself.”
“That’s fair. Are they mean about it?”
“Not at all, which I know is way better than what other people have to deal with. It’s just, I was there when Jacobs and Beck came out to the team, and it was cool. We hugged them and made sure they knew it was okay, and then we got back to hockey. For me … let’s say it’ll go a lot differently. Ha, ha, dumb Cohen is super dumb.”
“Lucky there’s no hurry.”