Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
After dinner, Ben joins me on the balcony outside our bedroom. Well, I guess it’s just his bedroom now. I’ve always loved the view, and miss being in this house. It’s something we found together. It’s supposed to be our home. He brings me a glass of wine, hands it to me, and then stands to the side. He rests his arms on the railing and sighs.
“It’s a beautiful night,” he says. “I’ve always liked it out here at night, just hearing the ocean and not the traffic.”
“I know what you mean. I’ve missed this.”
“Where have you been staying?” he asks.
“At the hotel near the studio. Makes things easy.”
“What do you want to do about the house?”
Absolutely nothing.
“We can talk about that later, after you’re cured.”
“That could be five years from now, Elle. Do you really want to wait that long to move on from this burden?”
I turn slightly to face him after his statement. He continues to look forward, out into the darkness of the night. If it wasn’t for the lights from the surrounding houses, or the glow from the bedroom light, I wouldn’t be able to see the expression on his face. He shows zero emotion. No heartache or pain is visible. Ben has closed and locked the door on us and thrown the key into the depths of the Pacific. I don’t blame him. I haven’t exactly shown him how important he is to me, and when I do or at least try, he can’t help but think I’m doing so because he’s sick. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how to show him otherwise.
“You’re not a burden,” I tell him, knowing my words fall upon deaf ears. “I’d be here, regardless.”
“Really?” He gives me a side-eye glance. “If you were married to someone else, you’d still be here?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t lie to yourself, Elle. Our relationship, friendship, or whatever we have would be over. There is no way in hell I’m going to hang around and watch you marry someone else or even date another person. As it is, getting over you is going to be hard, especially now.”
His words hurt. They stab me in my heart and make me catch my breath. How can he be so mean, and yet stand here next to me so nonchalantly? He didn’t have to come outside or bring me wine. Yet, he chose to. Is it because he’d rather wallow in heartache than be with his family? Because to me, it certainly seems like what he’s doing.
“You’d give up Quinn?”
Ben shakes his head. “I’ve already given up family events. I can see Quinn without having to see you or your family.”
“I see.”
Maybe I shouldn’t care about what he’s going through and let him battle this on his own, with his freeloading family. Or do one better and demand we sell the house now, instead of waiting. We’re definitely not in a split the profit situation, but why should I care?
I care because I love him.
I finish my wine and start to walk into the house. Before I cross the threshold, I turn to him and say to his back. “The fertility specialists will harvest your sperm before you go into surgery. We have to be at the hospital at six a.m. The car service will be here at five. Good night, Ben.”
He doesn’t say anything. His head drops and I hear a slight muttering coming from his mouth, but I don’t ask him to repeat himself and say it louder. When I get to the other room, the lights are off as is the television, and Brenda and Brad are nowhere in sight. Makes it easier to make my escape then to have them snicker behind my back.
I’m halfway to the door when Ben’s voice rings out. “You’re not going back to L.A., are you?”
“Why do you care?” I ask with more bite than intended. I sigh, shake my head, and continue toward the door. When I reach my car, I hear the front door open and close again.
“Elle?” The way he says my name reminds me of when we’re alone, together. The moment before we’re about to make love. “You should stay.” Ben’s hand touches my lower back, and shivers run up and down my spine. I can’t help but shake a little at his touch and crave it more.
Turning around, I take him in. The glow of the streetlamp sheds enough light for me to see his eyes. They’re red rimmed now, and there’s an emotion on his face that was absent when we were on the balcony. My hand cups his cheek. He leans into my touch, moving his head slightly to kiss my palm.
“Don’t go.”
“I shouldn’t stay, Ben. We’re not . . .”
“I know and with my family being in the guest bedroom, the options are our bedroom and the couch. I can take the couch if you don’t want to share the bed with me.”