Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Too bad I didn’t bring bakery with chocolate in it, because that would be even better. I know it’s stress that’s making me crave the comfort of something sweet. If I were a drinker, I’m sure I’d be looking for a strong one right now.
Dodge keeps his hand on mine, removing it only to get up for a quick picture with the woman. When she finally leaves, all four men turn to me, their faces growing serious after wearing pleasantly polite smiles for the woman.
“Sorry about that,” Dodge says, his thumb caressing the back of my hand.
“It happens once in a while, usually at the grocery store if we go together,” Diesel says, “but it’s not usually like this.”
“It’s all right,” I say.
“I don’t like that they’re interrupting our picnic,” Chase says.
“I know you need to keep your fans happy,” I say. “It’s part of your business.”
“But it bothers you.” Dodge’s voice is tender, and it’s clear from his eyes that he’s concerned. They all are.
“I don’t want it to bother me … but it does … a little bit.”
“Your face says more than a little,” Chase says. “Is there something else?”
I let out a breath. “I wasn’t expecting the things you said earlier. About moving in. About getting serious.”
“Are we moving too fast?” Maddox asks. “Because we can take things slower.”
Dodge looks into my eyes, his gaze so intense that I have to look away. “There’s more to it, isn’t there?” he asks.
“I like you all very much,” I start.
Maddox draws back. “This doesn’t sound good.”
I straighten my spine and tell myself I need to get through this. Still, my voice wavers when I continue. “I like you all very much, but I’ve been struggling because I just don’t think there’s any way that things can work between us.”
When they look at me questioningly, I say, “As much as I try, I can’t get used to the fact that you have hundreds of adoring fans. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but I can’t seem to make myself comfortable with it. I never thought I was a jealous person, but the thought of how many other women lust after you just eats away at me sometimes.”
“We’re sorry about the interruptions today. We should have told them right off that we were busy,” Maddox says.
“No, it’s not that. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I know it’s just part of your job, but even though you don’t care about the women in your audience in a romantic way, I can’t help how I feel.”
Before they can say anything, I push through, because I need them to know everything. “If this were the only issue, I’d figure out how to get past it, but the bigger obstacle for me is my family. You’re aware that they don’t like what you do for a living, but what I haven’t told you is that my parents led the fight to keep your club from opening on the island.
“They went to town council meetings, they started a petition and gathered names, and it’s still a huge sore spot for them that your club was able to open and that the good people of Four Points are being led down a path of sin by going to your shows. I don’t agree with them, and I never wanted to insult your profession by bringing this up, but I need to explain how strongly they feel about the issue, and how there’s no way they will ever accept me having a relationship with you.
“Being with you would mean giving up my family,” I say, wiping back a tear that stubbornly persists in falling.
The men look defeated, and their expressions make me feel like someone’s plunged an ice-cold knife into my chest.
“We didn’t realize it was that big of a problem,” Chase says in a somber tone.
“I had no business ever getting involved with you in the first place,” I say, “but I never thought things would get serious. To be completely honest, when you first started flirting with me, I didn’t take it seriously at all. And everything that happened after that took me by surprise. I’m sorry that I let things go as far as they did when I knew it couldn’t work, but I like you all so much and I couldn’t resist being with you.”
“We love being with you too,” Maddox says, and I can’t look directly at him, because if I do, I won’t be able to say the last bit.
With a blurry focus on the leaves on the paper tablecloth, I say, “It really hurts me to say this, but I can’t see you anymore. There’s just too much stacked against us.”
Silence hangs in the air between us. Children squeal with glee over by the playground, and down far below the park, waves crash into the shore. The wind is picking up, prickling the skin on my arms.